Raw. Real. Processing… What do you do when you’re given the opportunity to connect with someone who had deeply hurt you and your family? At first, it can even feel like an invitation… but if we’re honest, sometimes it feels more like a trap. Because when there’s been years of silence, no real trust rebuilt, and no effort made along the way — how do you step back into that space without losing yourself? Do you make time for them? For what reason? To bring healing? To ease their heart? Or do you recognize that you’ve already said all that needed to be said — and reconnecting would only stir up what you’ve already worked so hard to put to rest? Some call it boundaries. I believe it’s really about identifying the purpose — and then making the decision accordingly. If the purpose is peace, and peace is protected by silence, that’s valid. If the purpose is reconciliation, and you feel ready to risk, then that too has meaning. The point is: it’s not about guilt or obligation. It’s about clarity. Because when the invitation feels like a trap, the only thing that keeps you free is knowing your why. Every choice costs something. The question is: does this choice lead you closer to wholeness, or pull you back into survival? And here’s what I’m learning: “Decisions” empower me. “Boundaries” only remind me where I lost it. #decision #choice #healing #process #personalgrowth #forgiveness #release #seasons #amish #amishmatchmakers #friendscomeandgo #clarity #healthy #freedom

So let’s ask the question: Why do we manipulate? I believe it’s because it’s what we’ve learned. It’s something we picked up in our homes growing up, and we carried it into adulthood, often without even realizing it. When we start to examine our hearts, we begin to see where this could have come from. Think about it: many of us were taught the roots of manipulation from the very beginning. Let’s take young children as an example. They learn by mirroring the people around them. That’s how they learn to walk, to talk, even how to react. Now, what’s the word they hear more than almost any other in those early years?“No! “No, don’t touch that! “No, stop! “No, no, no!” So what happens when the “terrible twos” hit? They mirror it back. You tell them to do something; they say “No!” Then comes the tantrum. See, from the very start, we haven’t been taught to motivate them; we’ve been taught to control behavior. We react to our frustration instead of meeting their need. Instead of saying, “Here’s what you can do” or showing them a better way, we try to stop what we don’t like. And because we’re human, that “No!” often comes with a raised voice or a panicked tone. I remember my kids in the kitchen pulling out every pot and pan while I was cooking. I’d say, “No! But looking back, they weren’t trying to make my life hard; they were mirroring me. They wanted the pots and pans because they made noise, because they saw me using them. Their God-given ability to learn through mirroring could have been an opportunity for me to motivate instead of manipulate. This is where we have to dig up the roots. We can’t just fix the leaves; we’ve got to get to the very depth of the root where manipulation started, so we can replace it with true motivation. And this isn’t about beating ourselves up. It’s about feedback, about growing into better moms, dads, friends, spouses, leaders. Part of that growth is forgiveness. - Forgive the people who manipulated you; they were just passing on what they’d learned. - Forgive yourself because you were doing the best you could with the tools you had.

Real talk😬 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” — Hebrews 12:11 Let’s just say it: discipline doesn’t feel amazing when you’re in it. It’s not glamorous. It’s not sexy. It’s not the highlight reel moment you post on Instagram. It’s the early morning wrestle. The quiet repetition. The internal battle between what’s easy and what’s right. And yet… it produces. Not just peace and righteousness, but a harvest of both. Meaning: you don’t just become better—you receive better. You get to walk in the fruit of what your pain produced. ⸻ 🔁 What Does That Look Like in Real Life? 💪🏽 In your health: Discipline is showing up when you’d rather stay curled up on the couch. It’s the sore, shaky reps—the burn that makes you question everything. But muscles only grow by tearing first. That pain you feel? It’s proof you’re rebuilding… stronger. 💍 In your marriage: Discipline is staying when escape would feel easier. It’s choosing connection over comfort. It’s speaking truth with tenderness—even when it’s hard. Raw, real communication doesn’t push people away—it draws them in when done with love. It creates safety. And safety is the soil where intimacy grows. 🔥 In your purpose: Discipline is doing the thing even when no one claps. It’s posting, building, calling, serving—when momentum feels miles away. It’s trusting that consistency becomes fruitfulness… because your harvest is on the other side of this stretch. ⸻ So if it feels painful… If it feels repetitive… If it feels like no one sees what you’re carrying… You’re probably right on track. Keep going. You’re being trained for peace. And it’s going to be worth it. 🙏🏽 #discipline #work #training #strength #consistency #epicyourlife

We will be heading home. The season of travel comes to an end, and we return to what should feel like normalcy… but doesn’t. We’ll sleep in our own bed. Settle back into routines. Try to restore the schedule. But there’s an ache stirring beneath the surface—anxiety wrapped in the awareness that we’re not returning to the life we knew. We’re stepping into a new reality. A life without Dad. I’m still trying to wrap my heart around it. Trying to process, to understand, to accept what this actually looks and feels like. The few days we’ve been home just haven’t been enough. And so I know—I have to gather my strength for what’s ahead. It’s my turn to step in. To fill in the gap on the ranch. To support Mom. To reconnect with the land, the animals, the rhythms of family life. To step into the places he once stood. Truth is, this past month of travel… as full and hard as it’s been to be away… may have also been a kind of shield. A way to keep moving. A way to avoid facing the silence, the absence, the reality of being home without him. And now, as that moment comes closer, I have to ask myself: Has it been easier to be away than it will be to be home? Maybe that’s what I’m really afraid of. #backtoreality #grief #home #healing #processing #pain #loss #newnormal #strength #epicyourlife #fear #pushthrough

Seriously—have you ever stopped to ask yourself that? How do you heal? Not how you think you should… Not how you were told to growing up… Not what your therapist said should work by now… But how do you actually heal? I’ve seen it again and again in myself, in our clients, in the communities we serve: We get this picture in our mind of what healing “has to” look like. We tell ourselves: “If I could just get out of here…” “If I can control this conversation…” “If I do this type of therapy, or that kind of retreat, then I’ll be good.” “If THEY would just change, apologize, or finally get it—then I’ll heal.” But all that is… is CONTROL. Wrapped up in pretty paper labeled “self-awareness.” The truth is, most of us don’t want healing. We want predictable, manageable, convenient healing. But real healing? It’s disruptive. It shows up in the middle of mess, often through people and processes we didn’t choose. It stretches us in ways that don’t feel cute or clean or Insta-worthy. Why? Because real healing is HUMBLING. It forces us to let go of the plan. To surrender the timeline. To unhook from the fantasy that we’re the ones in control. And that’s scary—especially when we’ve spent our whole lives protecting ourselves from pain, rejection, abandonment, failure. But here’s the shift that changed everything for me: Healing doesn’t come when I’m finally comfortable… it comes when I’m finally willing. Willing to feel. Willing to be wrong. Willing to let God use people, places, and timing I never would have picked. So I’ll ask again: How do you heal? Are you leaving room for God to surprise you? Or are you unknowingly blocking your breakthrough because it’s not coming in the package you ordered? I’ve been there. And I’ll probably be there again. But the more I release the “how,” the more I encounter the who— The God who sees me. The people who mirror truth. The moments that call me higher. Let your healing be wild. Let it be messy. Let it be divine. Because honey , breakthrough doesn’t need your permission.