Okay. Still gonna try to stick to this. 1. I am amazing because… I’m a team player at work, I’m considerate of others, and I‘m attempting to keep the streak going with this (even though it’s only day 2…) 2. I am grateful… for heat, for music, for the relationships I have with my friends in recovery, for Doug coming onto the chat yesterday and chopping it up about music for a bit. 3. My vision for the day: I will make the phone calls I need to make. I will make a list of my goals for this week. I will practice music. I will be unafraid. I will be strong. I’m struggling a little bit today because I don’t like having to isolate due to the blizzard. I’ve had some success over the past two weeks getting out of the house, socializing, walking a lot, and generally not wasting away in bed. I’m afraid of falling back into that habit today. I would like to find some way to be productive even though my mind/body/spirit feels confined in my apartment.

Found this post where I mention being on Day 4 of quitting smoking/vaping/all forms of nicotine (to which I was horribly addicted): https://www.skool.com/heartfinders/day-10-3 Today is day 365! One whole year. Crazy to think about. Thanks for all of your support along the way. Posting on here helped me stay accountable when I was really craving.

Had a conversation with my dad last night, which meant I was on speaker and mom was also in earshot. He expressed concern for me having little direction in life and not thinking in the long term. This was hard to hear partially because I know it’s true to a degree, but it’s not something I want to internalize right now because it’s not helpful. Mom heard him say this and chimed in to my defense. Altogether the talk was productive, though, and I came away with ideas of some other steps I can take in the direction of continuing my education and getting new skills. The reality is I’ve been living in a state of financial insecurity for almost 4 years now and it’s affected every area of my life. I look forward to the peace of not having to worry so much about money, but I’m dreading the process it would take to get there. I also know my parents genuinely care and want me to be happy, but I simultaneously resent their involvement. In terms of my mild, medium, and spicy goals: - Mild: Make my bed right after waking up. Apart from a day or two where I’ve had to do laundry or run an errand, I’ve made my bed after waking up every day - Medium: Spend one hour applying to jobs. I’ve applied to two jobs this week. - Spicy: Get 10k steps a day. I’ve averaged between 8-9k steps most days this week.

It’s a quick one today

In line with my goal of health, I had an appointment with a gastro today about an ongoing problem. In line with my goal of getting my name and expertise out, I pitched 4 health podcasts today and listened to 5 educational videos on podmatch