At this time of year, when the world is busy, bright, and full of expectation, I feel called to share one of my earliest awakening insights, an experience that quietly shaped the path that eventually led me to teaching. Christmas has a way of amplifying both joy and longing. We gather, we give, we remember, we hope. And beneath all of that activity, many of us feel a quieter question stirring: Where does real peace come from? For a long time, spiritual insights were kept private, spoken about only in small circles. Teachers often shared methods and teachings, while their own lived experiences remained in the background. That is slowly changing, and I believe that’s a gift. When we speak honestly about what unfolds on an inner path, it offers reassurance, especially at a time of year when so many hearts are tender. This reflection is offered in that spirit. The Setting: Stillness at the End of a Retreat This experience took place around 17–18 years ago, during the final days of a meditation retreat in Derbyshire. It wasn’t Christmas, but the feeling was familiar, the same sense we sometimes touch in the quiet moments of the festive season. Life was simple. The outer world felt far away. There was space to breathe. As the retreat drew to a close, I noticed something subtle. Part of me was looking forward to returning home, back to my ordinary life. And at the same time, I felt deeply content right where I was. There was appreciation, warmth, and happiness, but no clinging. This is important. Christmas often highlights the difference between presence and grasping. Joy doesn’t disappear when we stop holding on; in fact, it often deepens. From Gentle Contentment to a Deeper Joy I began my meditation resting in that gentle, quiet happiness. As the mind settled and thoughts softened, this background warmth began to grow, not because I was imagining anything pleasant or trying to feel joyful, but because the inner noise was falling away. What emerged was a deep, steady joy. Not the excitement of unwrapping gifts or the anticipation of reunion, but something more like a soft inner glow.