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The Emotionally Whole Family

219 members • Free

9 contributions to The Emotionally Whole Family
Reminder about tonight!!
Sandi Derby is speaking tonight on our emotional relationship with God. It will be one you want to join for sure!!! Sandi is the main trainer for specialists with The Grief Recovery Institute. The recording will only be available for those in the Full Course and the live for everyone else who wants to join. We start at 6p CST. Link is right at the top of the main page here in Skool or also in the calendar.
Reminder about tonight!!
6 likes • Jun 30
Sandi is awesome! You will not want to miss this! I’m super bummed that I will be missing it because of my son‘s game.
Fear and Shame Muscle Memory
I lead worship yesterday. I get polarized by fear when I get on the stage. Fear of being wrong. Fear of being prideful. Fear of exposing a poser and that I don’t really understand music that much even though my mom was a college trained musician and vocalist. Fear that I will shame GOD fear I will humiliate the pastor by making a mess of worship. Pressure that I have to get it right. Some days, after I have gone to everyone I know and ask them to cover me in prayer, I can get up there and feel pretty relaxed and confident. But when I see myself on video, it looks like EVERY SINGLE MUSCLE in my body is completely flexed and tense. My movements are so stiff and I literally have my microphone held straight out in front of me when I am not actively singing. It’s like I am petrified of the responsibility of it and repelled by the sight of it. I never noticed it before. In the past I was so tormented by the enemy when it was my week to sing on the team that I literally quit a few months ago. But the pastors daughter wouldn’t let me. She said she really wanted me to pray about it and not walk away from my destiny. How can I get over this fear? I look like a corpse on the stage. I have tried everything I know to do to relax. How do I get rid of the memory of fear and shame from my muscles?? How do I get rid of the old triggers?
7 likes • Jun 15
I remember feeling similar things when I first started leading worship many years ago. I remember one of the first times I sang in front of people, if they could have seen my legs behind the podium they would see I was doing a very bad impersonation of Elvis because I was so nervous.😂. What has worked for me is to be so connected with Papa God and sing to him as if there’s nobody else in the room. Like I do when I worship at home. When I am face-to-face and connected with him, it does not matter what anybody else thinks or doesn’t think about me because if my focus is on him, then their focus will be on him. If their focus is not on him, that’s between that person and God, not me. I have found that worship leading is really just an extension of my personal worship time with God. It’s about connecting with Him. When I am face-to-face with him or just throughout my day I practice hearing his voice and doing what he says to do. This practice allows me to know His voice and lead accordingly during a service. Then no matter what the service it will be like any other time worshiping him where I am connected to him and I just do and sing what he says to do and sing. It’s quite freeing when you let go of the fear of man/what others think, and let his voice be the One you let lead you. I encourage you to ask him how he sees you and what he thinks of you. If you hear any other voice inside your head say something opposite of that, even if it’s in your own voice, tell it to be quiet and focus on what he says. Because that is what is true.
A wound concealed
A wound that is concealed cannot be healed. As long as we believe lies about how things “should” appear, the truth of how things really are can never be addressed, and the wounds only get deeper and more infected.
7 likes • Jun 10
So good and so true!!
6 likes • Jun 10
I think it depends on the type of therapy and if it’s actually effective. If the therapy is not allowing the heart to be processed, heard and validated in order for the hurt and pain to be healed then I have found it to be a waste of time and money. So for example, I have been in counseling situations where honestly I just kept spinning in the same hurt and pain. I talked about it 1 million times with the counselor and felt brief relief but then the hurt and pain continued to come up because it wasn’t truly processed in an effective way. I was just talking about it. there was no true healing from the pain. That’s why I have found that what Seth does in Emotionally Whole Family and how he used the Grief Recovery Method along with some other tools to be the most effective thing I’ve ever gone through and the most healing. and I’ve done a lot of different things within the church and without the church. So I guess it would depend on what your goals and hopes are for in the therapy.
Expectations
One factor in generating every emotion in us is our expectations. And parents often generate a lot of unnecessary emotions, simply due to having unrealistic expectations. Expectations of our kids that aren’t realistic, end up giving us emotions, usually anger. Sometimes we are generating anger at something we wouldn’t need to if we could evaluate our expectations adjust them to be more realistic. Example: If I have the expectation that my kids should obey perfectly every time because I’m their parent, I will feel frustrated or angry when they don’t. If I adjust that expectation to be that my kids aren’t going to obey perfectly every time just because I’m their parent, because they are kids, and they are learning, and I’m here to help them learn and grow, and they are here to help me learn and grow, I won’t get so frustrated when they meet that expectation. I can adjust it so I’m not surprised by disobedience and now see it as opportunity for me to grow in my communication, my patience, my discipline (not punishment), and to help them grow as well. If I adjust it to this, and see it as opportunity not a threat, and will generate less frustration simply because they are meeting my expectation and inviting me to grow and help them grow.
4 likes • Jun 8
That is so good!
1-9 of 9
Jenn Masters
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@jenn-masters-3746
I love following God, my wonderful family, continuing to learn and grow, and helping families learn to stay connected.

Active 96d ago
Joined Apr 7, 2025
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