Definitely not something I want. Definitely something I’m working on. Definitely not something I want to label myself as… but I know I just fricken did… So last night I went to a local live music event with this new EPIC man in my life who’s from here in Bali. Not a big concert or out like that. Just local musicians, friends, beers, good vibes… and I was like… right… bite the bullet, Mimi. Go and do something uncomfortable for once instead of making excuses, u got this eeekkk I could already feel the anxiety brewing before we even left. Thirty minute scooter ride… and I’m already overthinking shit a lot Then we walked in. It was this bigish warehouse space. All the lights were on. Maybe 25 or 30 people sat around tables drinking arak and beer. 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗺𝗲𝗻…. Ekka knew people straight away. A few came over to say hello. He introduced me. Obvs there’s a language barrier because I don’t speak Indonesian (gotta sort this out..note to self) and then my brain just went… 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧. I’m the only girl here. 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧. I'm the only bule (that's what they call us foreigners here) here. And then… oh my dayz… I spiralled. Like PROPER fcking spiralled. The only way I can describe it is... imagine walking into an arena where U don't know a SINGLE person. Everything's unfamiliar. Everyone already knows everyone else. And it feels like there's this massive af spotlight following U around the room. Like everyone can see u. Everyone's looking at u. Everyone's judging u... even though they're probably not pfffttt That's exactly what it felt like. 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗦𝗢 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱. 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻. 𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻. What do I do with my hands? Do I put them on my hips? Behind my back? Do I smile? Am I smiling too much? Am I standing weird? Why am I just STANDING here? Then it got even more ridiculous because my brain clearly thought, "Let's throw absolutely EVERYTHING at her while we're at it." Why didn't I wear my Vans? Why have I got sandals on? Why am I wearing shorts? I should've worn trousers. Do I look like an idiot? People are gonna think... who the fuck is SHE? Why is she here?

this one's for u ... ghosting me is wild when u literally asked ME a question first… 😂 and I don't mean like oh they got just busy or life happened or whatever… I mean 𝗙𝗨𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗡 𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗙 𝗩𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗛 disappeared… like where the effers like did u go… did u fall down a well… did aliens take u… did u move countries and forget to mention it… 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗗… 😂 someone messages me… e.g. can u send me the details of the retreat … can u send me the link… can u tell me more… and because I'm a normal human who actually gives a sh*t I stop what I'm doing and I go find the thing and write the thing and send the thing THEY ASKED FOR obvs… and then… absolutely naff all… not a thank u… not a got it… not a not for me… not even a lazy thumbs up… just tumbleweed central and silence and me sat here going… k then… and before anyone gets a twitchy on… NO this is not about buying… I don't think anyone owes me a sale… I really don't… but I do think we've somehow completely lost the art of just basic human communication and that does my absolute nut in… 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻… and this might sting a tad… most people aren't ghosting because they don't know what to say… they know EXACTLY what they want to say… they just don't want to feel uncomfortable saying it… maybe they don't want to say they can't afford it… they don't want to say they've changed their mind… they don't want to say not for me… so instead they say NOUT and disappear and somehow think that's the kinder option… IT IS NOT… + 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝗲… I'd put money on it that some of the people doing the ghosting are the EXACT same people sat there going why does nobody reply to MY stuff… why does nobody give ME a straight answer… why does nobody tell ME where they stand…ooffff juicy shit hey… … the balls start with u… the communication starts with u… the honesty starts with u… every single damn time u dodge one of those tiny uncomfortable conversations u are weakening the exact muscle u need to sell… to set boundaries… to ask for what u want… to actually SAY THE THING… it is ALL the same bloody muscle and u either use it or u don't…

This morning, I finally opened up that message from my mum. Felt kinda bad it took me two days. We had spoken and I had messaged her… but the one message she really wanted me to read just sat there unopened. This morning I did it, and it made me smile, it made me cry, its made my heart melt, and then it made me want to share this little story. My mum lives in France and she absolutely LOVES Christmas cards. Like genuinely loves them like tea, it’s her thing. Every year she sits down and writes them to everyone. Old school teachers, childhood friends, people she’s known forever, people she probably hasn’t seen in years, and I’m talking 50+ years ago. She really puts heaps of love and thought into them, she even buys the paper kind in the summer. She has a old address book, who even has these any more. Every single year she asks me, “Where can I send your Christmas card?” And every year I have to explain (again) that Bali / Indonesia post is well… a thing. Sometimes you have to pay big tax on stuff coming in. We don’t get things delivered to our doors, we have to collect them from the post office, they assess the item, and then just decide how much money you should pay. I’ve literally paid tax on a card before, and also had to pay tax on my own birthday presents. Pfffttt. So she sends me e-cards instead. Now I’ll be totes honest, like duh… e-cards aren’t really my thing. I’m not sat there buzzing AF like “oh my giddy aunt YES AN E-CARD”. But… I still open it. Even though, sorry Mum, it took me two days. Every time it HITS… Because she always tries to put something in there that feels like me. There’s usually a dog on it. This time there were cats, two of them, still fluffy hey, and that made me chuckle. Then she always follows it up with messages like “Did you get your card?” “Did you see it?” “Did it come through?” like she’s excitedly waiting for that little confirmation that it landed. (I have not had that message yet, so I will message to say thank you first)

Okay so yeah… I’ve not really been updating in here, not because anything’s gone wrong or dramatic, but just because life’s been lifeling a bit, you know when it just does that and you’re like ok cool, here we are then. BUT. I found something today and it made me stop mid-scroll, mid-coffee, mid- “I’ll just check one thing”, and I was like… ohhhh hang on a minute. So quick-ish update on my little Skool-as-social experiment. If you didn’t know already (or forgot, which is totally fair), this space is public. Like properly public. Anyone can see what’s going on without joining. You only need to join if you want notifications or if you actually want to get involved and not just lurk from the bushes. And part of my longer-term thinking with this has always been… if it’s public, surely it’ll get indexed on Google, right? That was the theory anyway. No huge expectations, just a “let’s see what happens” kinda vibe. Well. Today I checked. And YUP/YES/WOOP my posts are showing on Google This Skool community social thing (aka owned socials, aka this weird little experiment of mine) is showing on Google. Which basically means this space isn’t just living inside Skool anymore. It’s living out there. Being found. Being indexed. Existing beyond the app. So obviously my brain immediately went into curious mode (which, let’s be honest, is both my superpower and my downfall). I’m now thinking about testing SEO-style headlines a bit more intentionally. Seeing what actually gets picked up. What gets searched. What lands. What doesn’t. I don’t fully know how yet, so please don’t ask me for a master plan, because there isn’t one. It’s literally just part of the experiment. And honestly… for $9 a month, this gives me a space to share things I’m not sharing in my paid communities, because the vibes are different. The intention is different. The energy is different. This feels more like a thinking-out-loud, testing, playing, observing kind of space. So yeah. Can I get a little woop woop for that?

Alrighty then… so… deep breath because honestly I don’t even know how I’ve ended up doing two Christmas gifts this big, but here we are. It’s happening. I’m rolling with it. I’ve been sat here thinking about this community, thinking about MYM, thinking about last week’s Backroom banner excitement and the humans in those pictures, and the energy, and the epic ass joy, and the realness of it all… and I just thought, you know what, it’s Christmas, let’s go big, let’s actually give people something that makes a bloody difference instead of the usual sparkly fluff. And I’m gonna be totally honest obvs — none of this makes business sense lol Absolutely none. But it does make sense for how I lead and who I am and how these spaces work when they’re at their best. I don’t want the clickbait nonsense, I don’t want the “exclusive secret door” rubbish, I don’t want the sleaze. I just wanted to give something that’s actually fricken useful, human, supportive, real. So yep. Two gifts. Both ridiculous. Both only for the Backroom and MYM because those are the spaces I pour into every day and the humans who actually show up with me. 🎁 CHRISTMAS GIFT #1 — BACKROOM ONLY The $111 Community Audit… for $1. Yep. One dollar. No idea what came over me. But the Backroom is full of people actually doing the thing — showing up even when it’s messy, asking questions, trying, wobbling, getting back up, talking, being human — and I just thought, let me give you something that actually helps you get momentum in YOUR space. So if your Skool community is quiet or feels a bit meh or you don’t know how to get engagement going or you’re overwhelmed or you’re looking at your dashboard like “erm??” — or even if you don’t have a Skool yet and want your FB group looked at instead — this is for you. I go inside your space, look at everything, all the corners, all the bits you’ve probably forgotten about, and I record you a personal Loom walking through what’s working, what’s not, what’s blocking engagement, what needs shifting, and the plan to bring it back to life.