and I mean ACTUAL transparency… not the sanitised version people post about… the real kind… the kind that makes ur stomach flip a little before u hit send… 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀… 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘂 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱… I'll say this is an automated message but the real me will be back… because u deserve to know when ur talking to a bot and when ur talking to me… I think pretending it's personal when it isn't kills something way more important… 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲… again I won't dress it up as personal when it ain't… even when part of me goes ooh maybe just don't mention it… nah… say it… if I took an idea or inspiration from someone else I'll say where it came from… always… because taking credit for someone else's thinking makes me wanna vom a little… and I've seen people do it… and I've seen the person whose idea it was see it… and it's fcken grim… 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴… like I said out loud that THE BACKROOM has been quieter… and yeah that little voice in me head was going don't say that… people will think ur failing… people will leave… and I said it anyway… because pretending everything's perfect when it isn't is just another form of performance and I'm done with that… and look yup I totes know we do not need to declare every downhill slide… 𝗶𝗳 𝗜'𝗺 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗜'𝗺 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲… not dress it up as being in my era of something or a season of rest or whatever the version is… sometimes things are just hard and that's the truth of it… HUMANING hey… 𝗶𝗳 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗜 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗴𝗼 𝘂𝗽… not after… simples… if I change my mind about something I'll say I changed my mind… even if I was really loud about it b4… even if it's embarrassing… yeah… I changed my mind… humans do that… and here's the BIG bit being this transparent is sometimes terrifyin… there are posts I've written where me heart's going don't send that… what if people judge u… what if they leave… what if they think ur not successful enough or together enough or whatever enough…

OOOFFF... I've been proper down a rabbit hole this morning and honestly I wasn't even planning on writing about this… Me little brain just started doing brain things over coffee and I ended up having this really juicy convo starter inside 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗥𝗢𝗢𝗠 about why people drop off communities, courses, challenges... all that kinda stuff... and then I realised... hang on a minute... this isn't actually about communities at all. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸. And honestly I think understanding THIS will make U better at business than another bloody marketing strategy ever will… Because have U ever noticed how ridiculously excited we get at the beginning of stuff? New business. New planner. New gym. New community. New course. New mentor. New notebook etc etc because apparently buying another notebook is gonna solve all our problems We get SO buzzing. “Yup defo this is it." "This is gonna change everything." "I'm ALL IN." Then... well... life does lifen doesn't it Couple of days later the dog's been sick vom, or someone's emailed, U've got washing to do eewww, your kid needs picking up, U're just tired af, U've forgotten where U even put the bloody notebook and suddenly the thing U were SO excited about is sat there gathering dust. And here's the thing... years ago I'd have called people flaky. I probably would've said people don't commit. Buuuuttt? I don't actually believe that's what's happening anymore. I reckon this is where we accidentally stitch ourselves up. We watch something... read something... listen to something... and we think "OOOFFF... that's bloody brilliant stuff… I'll do that tomorrow." Then tomorrow becomes Wednesday. Wednesday becomes next week. Next week becomes..."Ahhh fck it... I'm behind now." Tell me U've never done that because I know I bloody have heaps. Loads of times. And the mad bit is... nothing actually changed. The training didn't get harder. The community didn't change.

Definitely not something I want. Definitely something I’m working on. Definitely not something I want to label myself as… but I know I just fricken did… So last night I went to a local live music event with this new EPIC man in my life who’s from here in Bali. Not a big concert or out like that. Just local musicians, friends, beers, good vibes… and I was like… right… bite the bullet, Mimi. Go and do something uncomfortable for once instead of making excuses, u got this eeekkk I could already feel the anxiety brewing before we even left. Thirty minute scooter ride… and I’m already overthinking shit a lot Then we walked in. It was this bigish warehouse space. All the lights were on. Maybe 25 or 30 people sat around tables drinking arak and beer. 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗺𝗲𝗻…. Ekka knew people straight away. A few came over to say hello. He introduced me. Obvs there’s a language barrier because I don’t speak Indonesian (gotta sort this out..note to self) and then my brain just went… 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧. I’m the only girl here. 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧. I'm the only bule (that's what they call us foreigners here) here. And then… oh my dayz… I spiralled. Like PROPER fcking spiralled. The only way I can describe it is... imagine walking into an arena where U don't know a SINGLE person. Everything's unfamiliar. Everyone already knows everyone else. And it feels like there's this massive af spotlight following U around the room. Like everyone can see u. Everyone's looking at u. Everyone's judging u... even though they're probably not pfffttt That's exactly what it felt like. 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗦𝗢 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱. 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻. 𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻. What do I do with my hands? Do I put them on my hips? Behind my back? Do I smile? Am I smiling too much? Am I standing weird? Why am I just STANDING here? Then it got even more ridiculous because my brain clearly thought, "Let's throw absolutely EVERYTHING at her while we're at it." Why didn't I wear my Vans? Why have I got sandals on? Why am I wearing shorts? I should've worn trousers. Do I look like an idiot? People are gonna think... who the fuck is SHE? Why is she here?

this one's for u ... ghosting me is wild when u literally asked ME a question first… 😂 and I don't mean like oh they got just busy or life happened or whatever… I mean 𝗙𝗨𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗡 𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗙 𝗩𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗛 disappeared… like where the effers like did u go… did u fall down a well… did aliens take u… did u move countries and forget to mention it… 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗗… 😂 someone messages me… e.g. can u send me the details of the retreat … can u send me the link… can u tell me more… and because I'm a normal human who actually gives a sh*t I stop what I'm doing and I go find the thing and write the thing and send the thing THEY ASKED FOR obvs… and then… absolutely naff all… not a thank u… not a got it… not a not for me… not even a lazy thumbs up… just tumbleweed central and silence and me sat here going… k then… and before anyone gets a twitchy on… NO this is not about buying… I don't think anyone owes me a sale… I really don't… but I do think we've somehow completely lost the art of just basic human communication and that does my absolute nut in… 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻… and this might sting a tad… most people aren't ghosting because they don't know what to say… they know EXACTLY what they want to say… they just don't want to feel uncomfortable saying it… maybe they don't want to say they can't afford it… they don't want to say they've changed their mind… they don't want to say not for me… so instead they say NOUT and disappear and somehow think that's the kinder option… IT IS NOT… + 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝗲… I'd put money on it that some of the people doing the ghosting are the EXACT same people sat there going why does nobody reply to MY stuff… why does nobody give ME a straight answer… why does nobody tell ME where they stand…ooffff juicy shit hey… … the balls start with u… the communication starts with u… the honesty starts with u… every single damn time u dodge one of those tiny uncomfortable conversations u are weakening the exact muscle u need to sell… to set boundaries… to ask for what u want… to actually SAY THE THING… it is ALL the same bloody muscle and u either use it or u don't…

𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗘'𝗦 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗥𝗦. 𝗨 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗨 𝗔𝗥𝗘… I am kind. I am PROUD AF to be kind. it is one of the things I like most about myself and I will never eva apologise for it duh… but I need to talk about something that don’t get said an awful lot in business… because there are peeps out there who see kindness and think… easy target. (Well they dont quite think those words maybe, but u get the gist) and I've had enough of staying quiet about it….LFG 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀… - u extend a payment plan because someone's going through something and ur beautiful damn luvly July heart says help them… and then one day they just… stop. no message. no explanation. just gone. and ur sat there holding the bill for ur own generosity grrrr - it looks like a 60 minute call that becomes 2 hours 17 mins because u big time care and u don't wanna to cut them off… and they start expecting 2 hours every time without ever acknowledging what ur giving. - it looks like replying at all hours because ur passionate overload and u care about their result duh… and suddenly ur available 24/7 whether u agreed to that or not. - it looks like doing extra work outside the scope because u WANT them to succeed obvs… and watching that extra effort get taken for granted so quietly u almost don't notice until ur burning out. - it looks like saying "pay me when u can" because u trust someone… and learning that trust meant absolutely nothing to them… - it looks like going above and beyond. again. and again. and again. and one day realising they don't even fricken notice anymore because ur generosity has become their standard… - it looks like overriding ur gut because u wanted to see the best in someone… ignoring the red flags because u totes believed in their potential… staying way past the point u should have left because ur not a quitter and u don't give up on people. - it looks like vouching for someone to ur network and watching them let u down.