Hi everyone, Feel very happy to be here. I’m Ian from Mauritius Island. Being part in such a community is very powerful for Safe Co-regulation so it feels amazing.

Sometimes, at the end of a long day, I flop on the sofa, stick Netflix on, and tell myself “I’m just resting.” But if I’m being completely honest, it’s not always rest. Sometimes, it’s a way of blocking out what I don’t want to feel. The same thing happens when I throw myself into a hobby or hyperfixate on work. I’ll get laser-focused on one thing, convincing myself I’m being “productive” but really, I’m using it to avoid thinking about something that’s bothering me. It’s not that these things are bad. TV can be a real unwind. Work can be creative and exciting. Hobbies can be nourishing. But when they’re my go-to every time a big feeling shows up, they stop being healthy escapes and start being armour. The tricky part? Numbing feels safer than feeling. Especially when the feelings are messy, inconvenient, or scary. But the truth I’m learning over and over is that the feelings I try hardest to avoid are usually the ones that need my attention the most. So I’ve been asking myself: Before I pick up the remote, or open my laptop, or grab that “just one more project” → What am I actually feeling right now? → Do I need to soothe, or do I need to avoid? → What would happen if I just let myself feel this for a moment? Sometimes I still choose the TV. Sometimes I face the feeling. But at least now I know which one I’m doing and that makes all the difference. What’s your go-to “numbing” habit, and how do you know when it’s helping vs. when it’s avoiding?