One of the most common things I hear in this space is: “Why do I still miss them even though I know it was toxic?” And I want to gently reframe that for you. You’re not missing them in the way you think you are. You are responding to what your nervous system became familiar with. When connection is inconsistent, intense, or emotionally unpredictable, your system can attach to the pattern, not the person. It learns to associate longing, anxiety, and relief with “love,” even when it doesn’t feel good. So when you leave, it’s not just emotional detachment that’s needed, its physiological. That pull you feel? That urge to go back? That mental loop?That’s your nervous system trying to return to what it recognises. This is why healing can feel so confusing. Because you can know something isn’t right… and still feel drawn to it. In this space, we’re not trying to force ourselves to “move on.”We’re learning how to create safety within, so that what’s calm and consistent no longer feels unfamiliar. Curious—have you noticed this in your own experience? Tx

Its Self Care Sunday. I spent the morning working out, walking in the park as ive been low on my steps this week, food prepping, meditating, cleaning and listening to music. Im going to put my feet up and read now. Reading feels like proper self care to me as i get to mentally enter new worlds and experiences, really slow down, sit in silence and immerse myself in one thing. Whats your self care Sunday looking like? Tx

This was supposed to be a live call but it went in the calendar for 1 am not pm so here is a video covering the topic and directing you to the free workbook. Feel free to comment here and lets get consistent in building the life we want to live and not self abandoning. What old habits that no longer serve you have you left behind, and what new healthy habits have you incorporated into your daily routine. Do you habit stack? Do you plan things in your diary? How do you stay consistent? Any tips or inspiration to help others? Do you self abandon and put others needs first then feel resentful - how can you stop that and know you are worthy of your energy being directed towards yourself? Tx

IFS / Parts... Inside each of us lives a family of parts — each trying, in its own way, to protect us and help us survive. When we begin to get to know them, and listen to them with connection, compassion, and an understanding of their role, why they are there and what they need to be unburdened of that role, healing happens from within us. Here is an overview of IFS - if you're interested in learning more ill add a session to the calendar or classroom. Parts work is a big part of my coaching process and im a big Frank Anderson fan. The book No Bad Parts is excellent for learning more too. 💔 The Exile This is the younger, wounded part of us — the inner child who carries the pain and limiting beliefs such as: - I’m not good enough. - I’m unlovable - I’m not worthy - Im not important. These parts hold emotions like shame, sadness, loneliness, and grief. 🛡️ The Managers These are the proactive protectors — the parts that try to keep everything under control so we don’t feel the pain underneath. They try and run the show on a daily basis. They might look like: - the inner critic - perfectionist - planner - people-pleaser - high achiever, caretaker - or even anxiety and procrastination. 🔥 The Firefighters These parts come rushing in when pain gets triggered — when the wound feels too raw. They try to distract or soothe with short-term relief - overworking - numbing out - anger - addictions - bingeing - withdrawal - self harm 🌿 The Core Authentic Self At the core of us all is the Self — the calm, compassionate center that isn’t broken and doesn’t need fixing. The Self is curious, courageous, creative, confident, connected, clear, calm, and compassionate. When we pause and lead from our Self, we can understand, integrate, and heal every part of us. You are not your parts — you are the Self who can love them all back into harmony. Tx💫

When a child is dysregulated, what they need most isn’t distance — it’s connection. Traditional “time out” often focuses on isolation. The child is removed, left alone with big feelings they don’t yet have the tools to process. From the outside, it may look like compliance… but internally, it can create shame, disconnection, or reinforce the belief: “I’m too much” or “I’m bad.” A trauma-informed approach leans into “time in.” Time in doesn’t mean allowing harmful behaviour — it means staying present through it. It looks like sitting nearby, softening your tone, and helping your child name what’s happening inside them. It’s co-regulation before self-regulation. Instead of “go away until you’re calm,” it becomes, “I’m here with you while you find your way back.” Because children don’t learn emotional regulation in isolation — they learn it in relationship. When you choose connection during dysregulation: - You show them their emotions are safe to feel - You model how to move through overwhelm - You build trust instead of fear - You teach, rather than punish This doesn’t mean it’s easy. Staying regulated while your child is not can feel incredibly challenging — especially if it triggers your own nervous system. This is where your awareness becomes the work. Slowing your breath, grounding your body, and responding instead of reacting. Connection is the intervention. Over time, “time in” helps a child develop the internal capacity to pause, reflect, and choose differently. Not because they were forced to — but because they were supported enough to learn how. And that’s the goal. Not obedience. But emotional safety, resilience, and secure attachment. If you haven't checked out my parenting workshop there is a video as well as a PDF on your children's emotions, its in the parenting with a narcissist section but there are somatic trauma informed resources too. Tx