Just a reflection on my last week, I've been struggling with reactivity and I got in from Uni tonight and realised a part was basically screaming at me. After some of the Stomatic Boundary work it really helped, I think I'm recognising a part of this process is not just take in information and then boom you'll be grounded its a lot of trail and error and the lessons are all tools to help guide the process.

Looking back at where I was to where I’ve come to this point while there’s still a feeling of not being perfect I definitely feel a lot further along than when I started this journey. Oh so long ago. I’ve been down on myself a little bit for not just having it all figured out, but as I sit and reflect and look in the mirror, I’m seeing that I have definitely come more into myself and while I’ve still been looking for a little bit of validation from others, I am starting to feel that confidence build to let myself just be where I am

A fear of rejection is the first thing that comes up for me when I get in a stressful situation. A fear of being me is the person that no one will want to see or respect.

Really got to see the mirror held up in front of my face this morning. My daughter had a breakdown because she had told us that she had read a book without telling us she had read a book and lied about how everything happened. That makes the story a short version. Looking back at how I’ve operated. Rather than telling the truth I would make up a small lie that was not a lie to me in the moment. To allow time to try to figure out the problem on my own. Rather than telling the full truth and allow allowing the problem to be a small problem.. Then i would make up enough small lies to cover up the actual truth that then the small lies would turn into the bigger problem because my wife is very good and putting the puzzle together and calls me out everytime. So my reflection for the morning is parts of me used to make up small lies to try to figure out the problem on my own. Going forward I want to create the part of me that is truthful. So that I can actually get the help that has beneficial. That then also lets the small problem be a small problem rather than a reactive problem.

When you know you should say something, a boundary is being crossed, a standard not held, a truth not shared. Notice the story that comes up to justify staying comfortable - to not say anything, say "its not that big of a deal" Thats the part of you trying to protect you from something. That part doesn't need to be abolished, but healed and feel like it can trust the Grounded Self in you to step forward & say whats right, hold that boundary, speak that truth. Where have you let that part of you keep you in comfort this week?