i’m a few days late to this post… mostly because my physical health took a bit of dive and colored everything. i have a pinched nerve in my neck, a long standing issue, but is now affecting my vision. i of course freaked out and got various doc appts to sort out. my exterior was calm, like a duck above water, but under the water i was peddling so hard. this physical pain reminded me that our health is everything. i read somewhere before that we all feel pain but we do not have to suffer. if i procrastinated more on dealing w the health issues, i would be choosing to suffer. it was also a reminder that the solution to pain is often unsexy, persistent, daily work, in this case physical therapy exercises. a shot might be relieving but that is also temporary and doesn’t deal w the root of the issue. i’m off to maine this week w no service. i hope some time in nature can help both my mind and body to ease a bit.

It was an especially punishing few days. Daycare closed for a few days for a mystifying February break, and a stressful weekend scrambling to get a presentation together for a big meeting Monday afternoon. It was pure survival mode. What slipped: journaling, exercising, eating well/good, this course, meditation What didn't slip: staying off nicotine (but work stress is super triggering), a few long walks with the dogs, a generally positive and cheerful attitude. As much as I wish this week went differently, I can look back on it with pride and contentment. It reminds me that the process of finding my heart necessarily will lead me to challenging times (its in my action statement!) so I have an imperative to ride these waves gracefully.

I did an exercise! My boy has an extra long practice tonight, so I may get in another one. I listened to these two videos already. Today, I listened again and actually did the written work as well. Wonderful exercise! There are so many thoughts that come to mind. I filled a page and here is what came to me. Service - family, community, village, theatre, choral, socials (not sure why I wrote this last one, but I did, so I'll share it) How do I contribute to make this world a better place? support others, take care of others, encourage others, pay forward the kindness that is shown to me, share kindness, smiles, laughter & hugs What should I do with my life? Share my gifts - song, stage, knowledge, listening, advice, be a better teammate What is my purpose? To raise my kids to be good, decent people and to serve all communities that I am a part of, the best I can.

Day 13?? I believe??? Without nicotine.

I haven't been ultra consistent with posting daily, let alone following all the prompts for the February challenge, but I do read them and think about doing them! Yesterday's was one that I overthought, resulting in inaction. I know that there's a video/exercise on here called Procrastination Cascade... probably would be worth me checking out. My update: Still chugging along. 11 (I think?) days without vaping or smoking. Strength! Perseverance! Followed up with a production house that I applied to recently- got an interview with them this coming Monday. Would be a great opportunity to get my feet wet in a new line of work, so I really hope I get the job. Pray for me y'all.