Today I got into a bad accident thanks to someone ignoring a stop sign. I’m ok, but the car will be in the shop for a while. On the flipside, I had a package stolen while I was away. it was a three piece herringbone suit, and got there just two days before I did. My neighborhood is typically very safe, but a gang took it. Well I had shrugged it off as a lost investment, but a neighbor filed a report and the police were able to recover it! The neighbor delivered it himself. Also a good samaritan drove me to the body shop. The takeaway here is for every bad person, there are so many good people who will surprise you with kindness. We musn’t lose sight of that.

It’s absolutely and completely crippling me, and one of the biggest things I’m struggling with. I’m gonna be super open and vulnerable here, and so I do apologize for any rawness or negativity. Growing up, I’ve always been small. Smallest dude in my family. Playing sports I was too skinny. I got muscle, then I was too short. I lost weight from grief, and now I was too short and too skinny. I struggle with really really bad body dysmorphia, and it’s one of the reasons why I rarely send pictures of myself or my outfits here, because of how harshly I judge myself in them. I think the main reason it stems, though I’m no psychology expert, is from feeling helpless, tiny, and worthless as a kid. Growing up with a neglectful, covertly narcissistic dad, I was his golden child. And so love was conditional. I did one thing wrong, silence for days. My family, they had titles for us. And so desperately I wanted to be seen. To have something that separated myself from the rest. Whether it was athletics, music, anything, I was desperate to be seen for who I was, instead of an extension of my dad. I was so sick and tired of being ignored. Being told my reality wasn’t real. And being gaslit. And having seen and experienced a lot of physical abuse myself, and being powerless to stop it, and stop it against those I love, hurts me too. My stepbrother and I were both physically picked on by my dad. And when my stepbrother hit his growth spurt and grew to six foot two, he got left alone and my dad stopped hurting him. But I stayed the same height, and size, and where I was. And so it didn’t stop for me. Now this was long ago, and I escaped it. I stood up to him finally and built a life for myself. I’m safe now, and away from all of it. But it still hurts me. And honestly it stems in this insecurity about my height. I’m the smallest guy I feel no matter where I go. The gym. Church. Church especially. There’s this mold for how guys are supposed to look like. And they’re always tall. I don’t mean to sound like a victim saying this. But it’s frustrating feeling like you won’t be someone’s first pick.

I have wanted to wear my new ivory chinos for awhile, so I paired them with my blue sport coat, purple Charles Tyrwhitt dress shirt and burgundy Allen Edmond tassel loafers. My socks were somewhat of an eggplant color from Calvin Kline and my burgundy belt was from Anson Belts. My shoes are new-used from eBay, and my shirt was thrifted. I think it worked!

Every now and then I would like to try something new. This is a little bit out of my comfort zone, however I think I pulled it off. It seems pretty cohesive, I'm open to any suggestions that you may have, either about this or similar variations. Have a happy Sunday!

6 everyday carry (EDC) essentials I never leave home without. From practical tools to everyday accessories, these items make daily life easier while keeping your style on point. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2dlpmIsbes