Not There Yet, But Proud of the Direction
I don’t often share my health journey on social media. In fact, I’ve kept most of it pretty private. Part of that is because I never wanted my journey to make someone else feel like they were falling behind in theirs. We all have different starting points, different challenges, and different timelines. Comparison can steal so much joy, and I’ve never wanted to contribute to that. But I wanted to share this here because this feels like a safe space. And if there is someone newer in their journey, feeling discouraged, frustrated, or wondering if they’ll ever get where they want to be, maybe this is for you. Three years ago, I traveled to Ireland. At the time, I was struggling in ways that most people didn’t see. The truth is, I hated my body. I hated seeing photos of myself. And if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t like myself very much either. I had lost weight before and gained it back. More than once. Every time it happened, I felt like I had failed. I carried a lot of shame, frustration, and disappointment with me. I worried about airplane seatbelts. I worried about fitting comfortably in spaces. I worried about how I looked and what people thought. Honestly I felt just puffy and uncomfortable. On the other hand while I was struggling in so many ways, I had a lot going for me. I have an amazing partner and friend group. After taking a risk and securing a new job, I felt I could have more balance and my me a stronger priority. When I got home, I made a decision, I would no longer be the last priority to myself. I decided to make my health a priority. That led me to working with a nutritionist, a trainer, an endocrinologist, and finally pulling the trigger to reach out to a coach I had been following for over a year. I leaned into accepting support instead of trying to do everything on my own. The change didn’t happen overnight. It happened through hundreds of ordinary decisions repeated over and over again. Today, I don’t measure my worth by the scale, and I don’t measure my happiness by it either.