Saw this at a place I was visiting today and thought I'd pass it on !! When trying something new, it's probably going to feel uncomfortable! Those are new neural connections being created so there is an actual physical discomfort that's happening. That's normal! Let's embrace the process :-) get aligned and then embrace the discomfort that comes along with the change!

I often use the phrase "get your reps in" when it comes to encouraging others (and myself) to improve on a desired skill. But, there is a caveat here because getting our reps in implies only doing something over and over and if we're not intentional (and reflective) with what that something is it can lead us to plateau or perhaps even worsen. Improvement requires more than rote repetition. As a SIDE quest in @Steve Webb 's 30 day challengers community, we read the book 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐤: 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞. Thought I'd share some of the key takeaways here beeeecause this group is about Inspired and Empowered Living and I'd love for us to be even more equipped through life! 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄: Getting really good at something is not about talent or repetition, but it's more about HOW we practice. :) 1. Again, repetition alone doesn't build expertise, deliberate practice does. This seems like an "of course" moment, but I do think that a lot of us get stuck in the cycle of just repeating something over and over and hoping that we'll improve. 𝐒𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤? 1. 𝐁𝐞 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 about the what. What are we improving? Vague goals KILL progress. Ex: "Getting better at communicating" is not specific enough. Think about the DETAILS of what it means to get better at this. Things like "I will interrupt less", "I will make eye contact", "I will summarize what the other person said so that they feel heard and so that I get feedback on whether I understood their point" "I will ask more follow up questions"--think of observable and trackable behaviors! :) ---We talk a lot about strengths in this group, BUT this is actually about zeroing in on weaknesses and training them directly! :) 2.𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 :We can't improve what we can't see. This is one of the fastest 'shortcuts' to growth--without the ability to see what's actually happening and getting 'correction'/correcting ourselves, we're more likely to reinforce mistakes or things that will be challenging to fix down the line.

In Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, generativity vs. stagnation typically shows up in midlife (40-65) but psychologically, it can surface anytime we start asking: "Am I contributing anything that will outlast me? Am I contributing anything beyond myself?" (vs. feeling stuck, directionless, and self-focused) I look at the different developmental stages and I feel like I'm consistenly wrestling with all the stages to some extent (just maybe the more adult version of some of them, ha). I don't see it as a bad thing, I see it as opportunities for growth. Little callings to improve, little opportunities to revisit narratives. Today, we'll just focus on the 7th Stage: 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐯𝐬. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘 This is the desire to create, nurture, mentor, build, or guide something beyond the self. Leaving a positive mark in the world by contributing in ways that matter beyond ourselves. A lot of people think of this as parenting, but it goes beyond that and it can include: mentoring, community involvement, creative work, service, passing on of wisdom, and investing in future generations. Psychologically, generativity is linked to 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞, life satisfaction, internal locus of control, future orietnation, and identity integration. Generativity increases when people feel competent, valued, and connected. 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Stagnation isn't just about "not having kids" or lacking hobbies...It's a kind of self-absorption that blocks meaningful contribution. Self-centered living that's focused on comfort/status/personal gain and that have boredom/emptiness and a lack of deeper meaning associated with the activities we choose to involve ourselves in. (There are a lot of judgment type terms here but there's a reason why people don't indicate feeling fulfilled even when they've achieved the comfort/status/personal gains. Our current society very much promotes these things but unless those things are tied to something 'greater' than ourselves, it can feel empty or arbitrary). --There are more things to say about what stagnation looks like, but I'd like to focus more on how to increase generativity.

@Bruno Militz has been working on a communication series and in his latest post (communication-difficult-conversations-series) he spoke about how words, emotions, and authority work together. This reminded me of a DBT Mindfulness Skill (Wise Mind) and thought I'd share a little bit! :) In DBT, there are three states of mind: Emotional Mind, Rational Mind, and Wise Mind. The goal isn’t to eliminate emotion or become hyper-logical but rather to create a middle path of wise mind (integrating and honoring both!) I also kind of think of these on a continuum /spectrum. I don't think any person is just "purely" emotion minded or rational minded. They are both present. Wise Mind allows us to be intentional with how we relate to these. :) Let's take a looksie! :) EMOTION MIND Thinking and acting primarily from feelings. Here mood determines perception and urges feel.... urgent. Experiences are interpreted through emotional intensity. Here's the thing though...these emotions are still influenced by thoughts, so it's not like thoughts do not exist. Pros of Only Using Emotion Mind: -intuition and sensitivity -empathy and relational awareness -passion, creativity, and motivation -quicker detection of potential threats (protective function) Cons of Only Using Emotion Mind -can distort interpretation of events/experiences that are meant to be neutral -can be more impulsive or reactive -can be more challenging tolerating distress -feelings as facts cognitive distortion "If I feel it, it must be true” thinking RATIONAL MIND Thinking logically, analytically, and factually. Decisions are based on evidence, structure, and reason. Pros of Only Using Rational Mind: -clear problem-solving -decreased impulsivity -strategic planning -ability to pause and assess outcomes Cons of Only Using Rational Mind: -can invalidate or suppress emotions (emotions are there to inform--they don't have to steer, but they give us valuable information)

Saw this quote in another community and it was such a good reminder as it applies to soooooo many areas of life. :) "I"ll start when I'm ready" sounds responsible. Thoughtful. Maybe even wise. But often times it's more likely to be self-protection which then leads to procrastination and timidity in action. This 'waiting' for the perfect moment can actually erode self trust over time if we don't take action. And that's a disappointing feeling. We rarely feel 100% ready (but that doesn't mean that we're not ready)..Feelings, while valid, are not facts...They inform, but they don't need to drive. Motivation research shows us that action is often the thing that creates clarity and confidence (not the other way around). Growth almost always requires movement (rather than perfect preparation). Something to consider: There’s also a 𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 at play: the belief that future-you will be braver, more disciplined, or more prepared than present-you. BUT!!!! Avoidance reinforces anxiety which makes us LESS likely to engage in the behavior. This is that erosion of self trust I mentioned earlier! (Check out @Sofia Martinez 's post that very much relates to this erosion of self trust: the-agreement-you-keep-breaking-with-yourself) Sometimes “I’m not ready” is valid, but I think that we need to be honest with ourselves and identify if /when that's actually the case. (Check out @Kate Galli 's post that is related--points out to some things that may get in the way of us taking steps towards goals!!: 6-aversion-factors-that-quietly-kill-your-progress) (The video is related to how to make stress your friend. Figured it would be helpful to put us in better positions for taking on positive risks! :) )