When Did We Stop Being Lovers?
💋 A Relationship Practice for Today: Notice Something You Like and Flirt!
You love each other. You have a life together. You take care of the house, the bills, the kids, the pets, and all the things that keep life moving.
But somewhere along the way, you stopped flirting. Kisses became quick pecks. Touch became less frequent. And sex became something you either negotiate, avoid, or wait to feel in the mood for.
Here's something I want you to consider: Being lovers is a practice, not a relationship status.
One of the things I've noticed in more than 20 years of working with couples is that people often wait for desire to show up before they do anything about their sex lives.
They wait until they're less stressed, more rested, the kids are older, or life settles down.
And in the meantime, they get really good at being roommates.
But what if you didn't have to wait for the mood?
What if you could start bringing a little more pleasure, flirting, and curiosity into your everyday life?
Sometime today, notice one thing about your partner that you genuinely appreciate, enjoy, or find attractive.
Then tell them. Add a little eye contact and a smile.
It might be:
- "I love hearing you laugh."
- "You look really good in that shirt."
- "I appreciated you making coffee this morning."
And then let it be enough.
Don't wait for a compliment in return. Don't turn it into a conversation about what's missing. Don't expect it to lead anywhere.
You can create moments of connection without asking for more.
It's a small way to start relating to each other as people you enjoy, not just partners managing a shared life.
❤️ October 15: From Lovers to Roommates
Feel close, wanted, and turned on again, without pressure, obligation, or waiting for the perfect mood.
I'm hosting a live workshop where we'll explore how couples drift from lovers into roommates and what it takes to find their way back.
October 15 at 5:30 PM PT
Free for members of the Better Sex Skool Community.
I'd love to have you join me.
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When Did We Stop Being Lovers?
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