Slightly humiliating.
I was the GM of a 4-star hotel. I knew how to manage a crisis, charm a difficult guest, and smile through a board meeting about towel thread counts.
What I didn't know was how to grow a single thing. Live at a pace that didn't feel like running from something.
So I stopped.
A few years we bought a farmhouse in the Flemish Ardennes with my husband Steven. 2,400 sqm of clay soil, 6 chickens, 4 sheep, a goat, and absolutely no idea what we were doing.
I still don't. Fully. That's the point.
It's me — in real time — figuring out how to grow medicinal herbs, make healing creams from three ingredients, ferment things, cook things, and build a small business from scratch at 50+.
No finished course. No polished curriculum. No guru energy.
Just every single messy, muddy, occasionally brilliant step — shared as it happens.
10 tonnes of soil arrived in my driveway and I just stood there looking at it (it's in the beds now).
I planted salad seeds 15 days ago. They are still doing absolutely nothing. I check them every morning like a crazy person.
If you've ever Googled that thing at 11pm —
If you've ever thought 'I could do something like that' and then talked yourself out of it —
If you want to watch someone do it for real and steal everything they learn —