Those deep, philosophical bedtime questions… You know the ones. Right when the lights go out and your body is ready to rest, suddenly your child wants to talk about the universe, life, dreams, fairness… or something wildly profound that came out of nowhere. And just when you think the conversation is finished… “Can you stay and tell me a story?” “I need water.” “I’m hungry.” “Wait — one more thing…” Another question. Another thought. Another request. For some children — especially those with beautifully busy, ADHD-style brains — bedtime is the first moment their mind finally has space to wander. The day slows down, demands drop away, and everything they’ve held in starts to spill out in an endless little list. It’s not always avoidance. It’s not always defiance. Sometimes it’s a brain that doesn’t switch off… it expands. So how do we handle it without turning bedtime into a battle? 🌙 Create a “last call” moment Before lights out, invite the questions and requests: “Anything your brain needs before we settle?” 🌙 Set gentle containers, not hard shutdowns Predictable limits can feel safer than sudden endings. 🌙 Prepare the basics ahead of time Water bottle nearby, toilet trip built into the routine, anything that removes the constant back-and-forth. 🌙 Give big thoughts somewhere to land A notebook, drawing pad, or quiet way to “save” the idea for tomorrow. 🌙 Stay flexible Some things might work one night and not the next. You may need to mix it up, adjust, or try a blend of approaches depending on your child’s nervous system that day. There isn’t one perfect strategy — just noticing what helps your child feel safe enough to rest. Does bedtime turn into an endless list in your house too?

🌱 When lashing out at school is really about feeling out of control This is something I’ve seen up close before, and it changed the way I look at behaviour. For a while we tried 50/50 parenting. Both homes loved the children deeply — but the experience was quite turbulent for them, and it opened my eyes to how much routine and predictability really matter to a child’s nervous system. 🎢 I noticed that when they came back to me, it could take up to three days for them to fully settle again… Three days to reconnect, three days to soften, three days to find their rhythm — and then it was time to switch again. And if I’m being open, the routines between homes were not the same. That wasn’t about blame — just a reality that children sometimes move between very different structures, expectations, and rhythms. For some kids, that contrast can feel huge. 🤯 Two beds. Two routines. Two emotional environments to adjust to. That’s a lot for a developing brain. When a child feels internally out of control, it often shows up where the pressure is highest… and for many children, that place is school. 🏫 You might notice: 🌿 bigger reactions after handover days 🌿 arguing, refusal, or sudden anger in class 🌿 masking in one place and exploding in another 🌿 behaviour that seems to come “out of nowhere” This isn’t about blaming either parent or taking sides. It’s about recognising how much adjustment children are doing behind the scenes. What I learned during that time was this — sometimes behaviour isn’t about defiance or poor boundaries. Sometimes it’s a nervous system trying to recalibrate after big shifts in routine and environment. 🧩 Support can look like: • allowing a gentle “re-settling” window after transitions • keeping your own home rhythm steady and predictable • naming the adjustment instead of fighting it • keeping school informed when changeovers happen If you’ve lived through shared care, you’ll know how layered it can feel — love, change, growth, and a lot of emotional juggling all at once.

Trait: Saying no quickly, even to things they usually enjoy. What it can look like: Refusing before hearing the full idea Automatic pushback to requests Agreeing later once pressure drops Control seeking during stress Gentle guidance: Pause after the first no Lower urgency in your voice Safety grows when choice stays present Reframe wording For example: Rather than “Go brush your teeth” try “When we’re finished here, shall we see who can get the sparkliest teeth?”

Trait: Physical contact can feel intense or intrusive when overwhelmed. What it can look like: Pulling away from hugs Anger when guided physically Preferring space when dysregulated Strong reaction to grooming or dressing Gentle guidance: Offer — don’t assume — touch Narrate before helping Respecting space builds trust

Trait: Holding it together all day, then crashing at home. What it can look like: Meltdowns right after pickup Irritability with siblings Total shutdown after school Parents getting the “full flood” Gentle guidance: Lower demands after transitions Connection before questions Home becomes the safe place to release