@Gina Valentina i need help scripting on my youngest. He is my challenger- maybe I’m struggling cause he is so much like me or maybe I have so much going on it feels heavy to bring him on to my load. But that makes me feel bad. I feel like I am neglecting him by comparison to everything else. But I also feel like I can only deal with so much at a time. I also feel like he is a piece to continuing to unlock my feminine. There is definitely something there that I feel is blocking, that is hard or heavy. I don’t know or where to begin or if I have the capacity or if it’s parent guilt that I feel I have neglected him due to all the other stuff in my life - marriage/work/school/ my nervous system. Maybe I just need some comforting words to get beyond mama guilt.

Mindful Mama Tip of the Day 🌿 The more we feel, the more we heal. Feeling = Healing!!!! ❤️‍🩹 The only way to GROW through it, is to GO through it! Our bodies are always communicating with us. In When the Body Says No (Gabor Maté) and The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk), we learn that unexpressed emotions don’t disappear, they get stored in the body. Healing doesn’t come from bypassing pain, but from safely allowing ourselves to feel it. When we model this for our children, naming emotions, allowing tears, showing self-compassion, in these precious moments we teach them emotional intelligence and safety. We show them that feelings aren’t dangerous and that regulation doesn’t come from suppression, but from presence. Suppression = depression. Instead of distracting, avoiding, or running from discomfort, what if we celebrated the moments we notice our feelings? These are often just signals like in your vehicle saying “pay attention to _____. Even when we “fall from grace” by let’s say, binge eating, numbing, scrolling, overworking etc. we can reframe these behaviors as the body’s heroic attempt to keep us safe and regulated. Celebrate these moments to, your body is working FOR YOU not AGAINST YOU!!! There is no shame here. You are no longer available for shame & guilt! We can gently reflect: - What was I needing in that moment? - What would I like to try next time? No judgment. Just curiosity, compassion, and mental rehearsal for next time.. how can you show up differently next time? Script on this, meditate on this, mentally rehearse the preferred outcome…come up with an action plan before crisis… and the same goes for your kiddos! If we cannot extend grace to ourselves, how can we truly offer it to our children or anyone else? We fill our cup first, not by judging how full or empty it is…but by observing it with honesty and kindness. Growing up, I never saw my mom cry. I was punished and shamed for crying, so allowing myself to cry as an adult has been real work. Sometimes it literally hurts to cry…I mean literal pain…because of the conditioning and generational shame stored in my body. So even now, shame or guilt can arise and I have to gently navigate through these feelings with so much self love and compassion. Giving myself permission to show up, authentically as me and loving myself unconditionally.

As I was self-reflecting of mistakes I made raising my nephew and sisters over the years… I remembered a huge mistake I made which was overcompensating because I was feeling guilty about them having absent or toxic parent dynamics…or for many of you moms it could be “mom guilt” from an absent…but let me share what I’ve learned through my experience… Over-giving and over-doing for your kids often comes from love, guilt, fear, or a desire to protect them from discomfort, but when it becomes a pattern, it can quietly create long-term harm for both parent and child. Here’s why 👇 1. It weakens emotional resilience When kids are constantly rescued, soothed, or over-accommodated, they don’t get enough practice tolerating frustration, disappointment, or discomfort. Struggle is where coping skills are built. Without it, kids may grow into adults who feel easily overwhelmed or dysregulated. 2. It teaches entitlement instead of gratitude When everything is given without effort, being earned, boundaries, or contribution, children can unconsciously learn expectation rather than appreciation. This doesn’t mean being harsh, it means allowing age-appropriate responsibility and contribution. 3. It disrupts healthy boundaries Over-doing often leads to blurred roles where the parent becomes over-available, over-involved, or emotionally fused. Kids then struggle to learn independence, self-trust, and problem-solving because the parent is always stepping in. 4. It models self-abandonment Children learn more from what we model than what we say. When they see a parent constantly exhausted, depleted, or resentful from over-giving, they internalize that love equals self-sacrifice, and that their needs should come at the cost of others. 5. It can create anxiety in children Over-functioning parents often send the unspoken message: “The world isn’t safe unless I control everything.” Kids may then develop anxiety, insecurity, or fear of making mistakes because they haven’t been trusted to handle things on their own.

Parenting Tip of the Day 💗💗 Let your no be a no, it’s a complete sentence. You don’t need to over-explain, justify, or defend why you can’t or won’t do something for your child (or anyone, really). And just as important, let your yes truly mean yes. If you are teaching skills for example, like eating healthy and in these instances you can implement alternative options and explain or teach why. This is different than a hard “no”. Here’s why this matters so much for moms and kids: When we over-explain or are wishy washy in our decisions, children learn that boundaries are negotiable. They start pushing, bargaining, or melting down because they sense uncertainty. This doesn’t make them “bad” by the way, it just makes them confused. Follow-through builds trust and a calm nervous system. When your child knows that: - You mean what you say - Your words are predictable - Your boundaries are consistent - You follow through on _____. They feel safe. Safety comes from consistency, not from endless explanations and/or confusion. A good example of this, when I was growing up my mom would never follow through on her consequences around being grounded and it typically was because she felt bad that I didn’t have my dad around much and she experienced “mom guilt”. A calm, confident “no” teaches your child: - Emotional regulation (they can handle disappointment) - Respect for boundaries - That they can trust your word And a solid “yes” teaches them: - Reliability - Security - That you’re present and intentional You can still be loving, gentle, and connected without over-explaining. Clarity is kindness. Consistency is love. ✨ Say less. Mean more. Follow through.

Here’s a fun, practical list of kid activities, broken down by age group, with ideas that support creativity, connection, movement, and confidence ✨ (Perfect for parents, classrooms, playdates, or weekend planning.) 👶 Toddlers (Ages 1–3) Focus: Sensory exploration, movement, language, bonding - Sensory bins (rice, oats, water beads, scoops) - Bubble play (outside or bathtub) - Music & movement dance party - Water play with cups and toys - Board book reading with voices - Toy car ramps with cardboard - Soft ball rolling games - Color sorting with cups or bowls - Peekaboo or scarf games - Nature walks pointing out colors and sounds 🧸 Preschoolers (Ages 3–5) Focus: Imagination, fine motor skills, emotional expression - Arts & crafts (stickers, glue, painting) - Dress-up & pretend play (doctor, chef, store) - Simple obstacle courses - Baking together (measuring + mixing) - Puppet shows - Play-dough creations - Feelings chart + emotion games - Scavenger hunts (colors/shapes) - Gardening or planting seeds - Simple science (baking soda + vinegar) 🎒 Early Elementary (Ages 6–8) Focus: Independence, curiosity, confidence, teamwork - Board and card games - Beginner journaling or drawing prompts - LEGO or building challenges - Bike rides or scooter adventures - STEM kits or experiments - Cooking simple meals - Story writing or comic books - Yoga or mindfulness games - Team sports or backyard games - Kindness challenges (helping tasks) 🧠 Upper Elementary (Ages 9–11) Focus: Problem-solving, self-esteem, social skills - Coding games or apps - DIY crafts (bracelets, slime, art projects) - Group challenges or escape-room-style games - Journaling about goals and feelings - Sports leagues or martial arts - Photography or video creation - Cooking full recipes - Book clubs or read-aloud discussions - Service projects (donations, helping neighbors) - Vision boards or dream lists 😎 Teens (Ages 12–17)