Mindful Mama Tip Of The Day! · The Feminine Healing Lounge🌸

Mindful Mama Tip Of The Day!

As I was self-reflecting of mistakes I made raising my nephew and sisters over the years… I remembered a huge mistake I made which was overcompensating because I was feeling guilty about them having absent or toxic parent dynamics…or for many of you moms it could be “mom guilt” from an absent…but let me share what I’ve learned through my experience…

Over-giving and over-doing for your kids often comes from love, guilt, fear, or a desire to protect them from discomfort, but when it becomes a pattern, it can quietly create long-term harm for both parent and child.

Here’s why 👇

1. It weakens emotional resilience

When kids are constantly rescued, soothed, or over-accommodated, they don’t get enough practice tolerating frustration, disappointment, or discomfort. Struggle is where coping skills are built. Without it, kids may grow into adults who feel easily overwhelmed or dysregulated.

2. It teaches entitlement instead of gratitude

When everything is given without effort, being earned, boundaries, or contribution, children can unconsciously learn expectation rather than appreciation. This doesn’t mean being harsh, it means allowing age-appropriate responsibility and contribution.

3. It disrupts healthy boundaries

Over-doing often leads to blurred roles where the parent becomes over-available, over-involved, or emotionally fused. Kids then struggle to learn independence, self-trust, and problem-solving because the parent is always stepping in.

4. It models self-abandonment

Children learn more from what we model than what we say. When they see a parent constantly exhausted, depleted, or resentful from over-giving, they internalize that love equals self-sacrifice, and that their needs should come at the cost of others.

5. It can create anxiety in children

Over-functioning parents often send the unspoken message: “The world isn’t safe unless I control everything.” Kids may then develop anxiety, insecurity, or fear of making mistakes because they haven’t been trusted to handle things on their own.

6. It leads to parental burnout and resentment

Over-giving is unsustainable. Burnout eventually turns into irritability, emotional distance, or resentment, which damages connection far more than healthy limits ever would.

What’s healthier instead

✔ Support without rescuing

✔ Empathy without over-indulgence

✔ Structure without control

✔ Love with limits

✔ Modeling self-care and boundaries

Children don’t need perfect parents or endless giving.

They need regulated, present, boundaried adults who trust their capacity to grow.

8 comments