Choosing my instincts and authenticity:)
While watching this video by rey "God did not put you here to be good" I realised how much my life decisions are effected by people around me, just keep them happy, satisfied and pleased. This morning I skipped my meditation and just sit in silence, very early in the morning, I was just looking around and feeling the peace. From my last post i learned a lot, I'm carrying too much pressure, fear, guilt, expectations and responsibilities. I just surrender and give them all to god ššš¼ i bring back my power. Nobody can scare me, not even my parents, society, or their rule and culture. Recently from last few months I was in rush to start content creation, to connect with people, to shoot my life to present myself as a niche. I was handling tons of syallabus from college, too much pressure for entrence exams. Not anymore, today I realised this year is going to end soon, i need to create difference now. Without any expectations and responsibilities I'm giving myself permission to rest, to choose what I feel intrested in, to love, to talk with myself. In my family I'm the only person who is interested in spirituality, I'm different form them, I have some goods and bads, but in all these... instead of connected to god, when did I start beating myself to fit in the perfect mold of spiritual and peaceful girl?? That video really helped me. And now I'm not beating myself anymore. Today I cried a lot. I'm just sitting around here and there and thinking. It's time to choose who really I am and stop with this ego and beliefs drama. I'll update you all with my new journey in next post šš¤ And thanks rey, your video opened my eyes it's just me and God. Nothing else. God bless you all ā¤ļøā𩹠Ruru ;)