Stepping on a landmine, while smiling at a butterfly's flight

What I'm saying here, i'll try to frame as better as i can not to fall into the usual stereotype nonsense that divides us Brothers and Sisters. Not because We're stupid, just cause it hurts so much that the shortest path is often accepted as the most likely answer, as neurology discovered. The most comfortable resting point. Yet the path goes much further beyond that mere simplifiyng, and stopping there is tearing us all down.

Tonight i was incredibly grateful to have this conversation peacefully, with one of the dearest friends i have.

She's a great listener and supported my path like nobody ever did, listening, respecting, confirming, pushing me further, challenging and hugging me through most of it, even if the occasions to see or phone each other were very rare, even if my vision hurt her at times.

We talked about this thing i am going to share, or better i rambled and she listened attentively, got really uncomfortable but very interested, concluding with "there's some truth in there, i'll think much about this". and i am really grateful.

There is an unspoken divide between human females and human males. i've realized it is so rooted and it is so deeply unconscious that whenever it comes up knives are unsheated. Nobody wants to talk about that. Everyone gets uncomfortable. Yet it is Love. Deserved. Felt. Ungiven, denied or not shown. Therefore a shadow, and maybe one of the greatest. Both of us are doing our particular flavour of the fault that causes it, and sometimes discuss with friends or strangers of the same sex about the fault of the opposite sex, and most oftenly argue about this when it comes up with the opposite sex. Much more often never admitting our side's faults. My intuition tells me women usually go much more in depth with their closest friends, while men are usually more sarcastic and circle around it. You know... feelings... :P

Basically:

When we speak with a woman, say Romina, there comes a specific point when we project unto her all the injustice from all the females we have endured through life.

When we speak with a man, say Stefano, there comes a specific point when we project unto him all the injustice from all the male sex we have endured through life.

Not evidently, but subtly, unconsciously, often ending up in a defend, attack or flee pattern.. ...

Now youre conscious may get pissed and stop listening, and that's a hunch 🕵️‍♀️. Please read the first paragraph again. You may be still be triggered after reading that again, so i'll ask you to leave now and come back when and if you feel like it, otherwise you'll piss yourself much more in a bit.... and i ask you to realize you're not ready to open right now, please leave it for now but come back one day. I'm going to be as direct as my possibilities concede. With my heart open. Attempting to help us tearing down the Berlin wall, or the Great Firewall of China, or the X-6734b2 wormhole, or worse... really.

.. ...yet Romina and Stefano are an original being, a singular point of view of the world. Conscious people who are able to see more clearly than a stereotype. Like you. Yet unable to maintain **alone** the "eggregoral pressure" and the "mirroring effect" of a fellow creator of reality that is so convinced that you're doing/thinking what s/he's convinced of, that he can't help but "express" outwardly, while the innocent conscious is accepting defeat, a bit of that "guilty" emotion, while your eyes are seeing it like a hand raising up and that confirmation is enough for a "case closed" even if the other was just mirroring your creation. When you are conscious enough to notice, you see that the misunderstood closes back into his well going into depression or anger (or worse), the perceived injustice is immense. The heart aches, and when it does ache of this pain for much time it becomes bitter and vengeful.

Cause the pain we have inflicted with each other is so scorching. It's rotting. It's demanding cure but at the same time the moment it happens we flee defeated by the ache.

And that's not to say or condone that there is also truth sometimes. The conscious can be a weird little fucker trying to fuck you up for good. Anyway...

I remember seeing it clearly one night looking at the sky, speaking about a Mars/Venus conjunction interpretation by innocently telling a friend "yeah you have to forgive us men cause.." i couldn't finish the sentence. she jumped at me, manipulated the room of friends into blaming me for being a shit all evening, turning my other "she" friends into a bitter state for many days after that. We didn't talk since then, god bless her. I was destroyed and the reconciliation i've envisioned hopeless. This event taught me to be extremely cautious, to the point i'm doubting my actions now, in writing this. But i see I'm with intelligent people that can help us breach this unreasonable divide.

Let's get to the juice... As men our main faults are: self-centered attention, strength/power boasting or too much investment just on that, refusal of weakness to the point of ridicule, unidirectionality, never listening to someone we deem not able to understand "man things" cause...... uhm... we are rational and pragmatic so we know how it's done.....also true sometimes, betting everything on the size of out little friend and/or on the physical intensity and endurance, we don't listen to advice cause... pride, when we are cornered we get violent, but worst of all we take you and your kindness for granted (sneaky little devil this one ;) )

This is what i think is the briefest possible summary of the man stereotype. Each one of us has AT LEAST one of these faults, and we so often are scanned, doubted, accused to the point one may start to believe there's no way to show you otherwise, especially when doing the work and being particularly self-conscious. (nerd note: self consciousness brings awareness of a thing you know of into the field and cause we share a fucking telepathic oneness, the other person that isn't skilled enough may stop there and attribute the thing to you)

You know... the "smart" ones can be so sleek.. knowing how men must not be and trick you with a carefully constructed image of "i am the one" (that one), with such self-confidence and sweet words that you may fall and realize much later he was just thinking of pleasure. Not to say that pleasure is wrong or to be demonized or to ban from existence, but guys and gals.. let's just be honest about it, and state or make it clear from the start... and in case of receiving a clear exercise of the right of refusal we can just drop it there, not every treasure is for our taking! Not every whim must be satisfied for us to be a great hero or princess or unicorn, rather otherwise. And about that there is immense difference between love and pleasure for the sake of the wellbeing and enjoyment of the Other and yourSelf, with no forced bonds, and love for a good ride with all its too much common complications.

You know... that said. We men are pretty vulnerable. We have a really tender spot, that we must hide to fulfill our long forgotten role of protectors. But that spot is Actually what fuels it. The muse. The sacred Beauty of life. That loves us cause we're really good at what we do cause you know... respect. 🫡

But there's a thing you do that prevents us from expressing it. It's not our missing courage, that we may lack, it's not that we're dumb, and we may very well be. And it's not your validation, not your unconditional love, not your patience, not your forgiveness, not your understanding. It is another more truer shade of these that you forgot how to cast, but what hurts us more than everything is denial of our good heart (if present and unseen behind a stereotypical label) in a moment of need, when your true involvement is brought to light; and your entitlement in receiving. (here it comes... ) Not in a justifiable way, like when we're actually idiots, but plain egoistic entitlement. My theory is that such entitlement was born from all the praise and buttlicking typical of mating strategies, the overprotection of the delicate demoiselle even when such demoiselle is being a bitch with a brother, the always granted forgiveness or she'll get mad and i get no pussy, the refusal of confrontation because.... (hmmm), all that sad theater. All that and so much more made that Precious muscle of yours locked in atrophy. And here i need you to believe me cause it is the most important part and the reason why i am writing all this. If you know what i refer to with muscle and atrophy, fellow Brothers and Sisters, then pick up the lenses and start digging... detectives, this is going to be a crazy inward and outward ride.

(......)

This thing we do (or rather not do) prevents you/me/us and all human race together with the other furry, leafy, etc... inhabitants, to finally take a breath and party, rejoicing for divine life right here on earth (ok this is a super long shot of a visionary under the effects of who knows Hwat, yet i shared it this way to underline its importance).

(..)

And now here's the trap. It can't be spoken, it can't be pinpointed, it can't be contained, it changes with the moon, and it's absolutely not all your fault.

And no, it's not just a "women thing" and men are poor and innocent and it's not just a "man thing" and women never summoned demons with fourteen snake heads (cause i know all this post could be interpreted that way), it's just an invitation to look. An open critic for the brave souls able to discern, male or female or whatever you identify with. Cause ya know we're all both male and female, all beautiful Hermies... you forgot that huh? Our attention is pretty hermetic ainnit?

Your true fault, if it's there, is not doing anything about it, and continue to look down on others. Dividing, choosing, categorizing with superficial preference with no regard and forgetfulness of the Buddha crying in each being.

The buddha would never cry right? well not without the dignity of feeling the pain of the host.

This doesn't mean we have to be altar boys and galz, cause you know the Spirit is Wild, yet it is Just.

This is immense to face i know, but if you got here, if you make the step it will be much easier from now on.

Until one of you is able to drop the defenses and break the wormhole with a dear one doing the exact same, willfully, allowing truth to emerge without force or coercion, there can't be true union. (rarest thing on earth, a singularity) And not just in romantic love. This wormholed matrix is very much more complex than words can describe or account and we may end up realizing it is within every relationship we have, until true love reigns on earth.

Now think about leaving it and go to Papa's home or something... i wonder where that place is....🤣 Maybe we're standing on it right now as was originally intended. Mahybe instead there's a magical escape hatch with a very complicate ritual procedure to allow its opening. Maybe all this strife is just our caprice that prevents us doing what is right... sowing back divided tissue. Our only hope at harmony. Our only real treasure buried in too much remembrance of others faults and all that dust of entitlement with heavy lead locks of unforgiveness.

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Stepping on a landmine, while smiling at a butterfly's flight