Observation of Self · The Somatic Academy by Soma+IQ

Observation of Self

I've found myself increasingly frustrated by how many people I love dismiss this work without even trying it.

They come to me overwhelmed, dysregulated, and spiraling—panicking about one thing or another.

And when I gently offer a simple 10-minute reset to help clear their minds so we can actually address the issue, the responses are almost always the same:

“Maybe later.”

“Not right now.”

“Send me the video—I’ll do it after/when _____.”

And yet… they stay in the spiral.

For hours.

Days.

Sometimes weeks.

Repeating the same stories, circling the same pain despite any guidance, redirection, or grounding I offer. And somewhere in that loop, there’s this unspoken expectation that I’ll sit there with them in it—that I’ll co-hold the chaos without them ever reaching for the rope I’m offering.

🫂✨

And to be clear, that “rope” isn’t just breathwork.

It’s anything I offer to help shift them from crisis into something more grounded, more manageable, more clear—a pause, one slow breath, a reframe, a next step, a moment of perspective.

They come to me seeking coaching, help, and healing, (for FREE, knowing that it is how i make my living) and then refuse anything that might actually move them out of the spiral.

Instead, they stay… and expect me to stay with them.

And that’s where something in me has started to shift.

💞🌌

Because I know how powerful this work is. I’ve lived it. I’ve breathed it. I’ve watched it create space where there was once only overwhelm. So to see it consistently resisted—rejected—by people I care about has been painful.

Not because they don’t choose it.

But because they come begging for relief… while refusing the doorway to it.

And I’m starting to see more clearly: some people aren’t actually seeking change. They’re seeking commiseration. Co-dysregulation. A place to stay exactly where they are—just not alone in it.

And that’s an energy I no longer feel attached to.

🪷✨

I’ve spent time reflecting on why this triggers me so deeply, but I haven’t landed on any big “aha.” What I have noticed is something quieter, more honest—I’m outgrowing the version of me who felt responsible for carrying others through their storms, especially when they won’t even take a step toward shore.

These aren’t clients. These are people in my personal life who expect unlimited access to my time, my energy, my nervous system… while refusing to meet me even halfway.

They want answers without embodiment, relief without participation, support without responsibility. They want emotional labor without doing any of the work themselves.

And a few months ago… I would have given that.

Freely.

Endlessly.

Now, I’d much rather invest those same 12+ hours into my own healing, my own expansion, my own becoming than listen to the same cycles repeat.

💖

Because I’m finally understanding something that feels both obvious and sacred:

Real change only happens when someone is willing to choose it.

No one can breathe for them.

No one can release for them.

No one can step through that doorway but them.

🪷💞

This feels like part of my evolution around “not fixing everyone,” and also the unraveling of an old identity—the "wounded healer" or (what I used to call) the “medic” :

The one who stays,

the one who fixes,

the one who holds everything together at any cost.

And in its place… something quieter is emerging.

Someone who still loves deeply, but no longer overextends to prove it.

Someone who can offer medicine without needing it to be taken.

Someone who understands that boundaries are not judgment… they are self-respect in motion.

🌌🫂

I still feel the edge of that old story sometimes—“Am I being too harsh? Too distant? Too much?” But I’m learning that protecting my energy is not the same as rejecting others. It’s simply choosing alignment over depletion.

They are allowed to stay where they are.

And I am allowed to keep moving.

Both can exist without either being wrong.

🫂💖

I’ve always known I was a cycle breaker, and that my path wouldn’t be something the people in my life would fully understand or accept—and that’s okay. I felt it in my bones when I returned from Phoenix that my life had shifted in the most powerful and unimaginable ways, and that meant I would soon need to find a way to move on physically as well as spiritually from this place I've lived my entire life.

✨💞

So maybe this isn’t just frustration. Maybe this is release.

Letting go of the old role, and allowing this work to guide me toward people who actually want it—the ones who reach for it, who choose it, who are ready to meet it.

And letting the rest be exactly where they are… without resentment.

Without resistance.

Without trying to pull them forward before they’re ready.

🌌🪷

I choose to be the medicine for myself.

They can choose to be the medicine for themselves too.

🫂💖✨

It no longer serves me to offer medicine that isn’t wanted. And truthfully, it doesn’t serve them—or the Greater Collective—for me to hold resentment toward them for not being able to see through eyes they’ve never lived behind.

Besides; forcing medicine isn’t healing.

It’s control.

And that was never my role to begin with.

💞

If you made it this far,

Thanks for reading and reflecting with me.

xxx

🌌🫂💞🪷✨

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