2 short walks today. I can feel my hip but it’s way better than a week ago. About to hit up Strava and give kudos to everyone in the Million Mile Challenge and Sober Endurance groups. Gave some encouragement to my wife for something she did today that was hard for her. Another day without a hangover and going to bed sober 💪

Day 5/90 Photos: Rory on the trails and a precarious broken tree balancing and my workouts Struggle: Once again I’m struggling with my Dad’s decline. He is so miserable and agitated and confused. It was not a good visit at the psych ward today. I’m trying to figure out what good I can turn these feelings into and how I do that. I hate these feelings. I was pretty much useless professionally the rest of the day after the visit. Totally exhausted. Win: I did not eat my feelings, which is a huge win. (1) No alcohol I did not drink today. (2) Movement It was a recovery day. My legs were talking to me after all the squats Monday with my trainer. I did get two short, deliberately slow walks in (one with Rory on the trails 😀) and got to yin yoga class tonight. (3) Hydration I hydrated well today. (4) Nutrition Somehow, I ate extremely well today. Regular protein bar and shake breakfast, tuna for lunch, salmon and veggies for dinner with some peanuts. No candy, no other nonsense. I was too tired for it. (5) Mindset I listened to my morning guided meditation. (6) Community I had reached out to a friend last week who’s been through some family stuff with Alzheimer’s. I chatted with him for about 1/2 hour about these feelings and dealing with difficulties like this. It was a really good chat. Tough day. Feelings of deep sadness, anger, helplessness, emotional exhaustion. Glad it’s over. I’m off to bed.

Day 4/90 Photos: Rory on the trails and my workouts today, and also a photo from 2013 a friend posted of a heavy unhealthy unwell me that speaks for itself (I’m on the right) Struggle: Conversations with my brother surrounding my Dad and what we do next. He is continuing his aggressive behavior in the psych ward and we’re not sure he’s going to thrive or calm down if and when he gets back to his beautiful memory care facility. Win: I took a slow work day AND I started strength training with my trainer Mark again after having to take a couple months off due to the care for my parents. It was great to see him! (1) No alcohol I did not drink today. A friend posted a photo of me from 2013 when I was at some bar … we might have been performing for a show - I really don’t remember. These are visual reminders of the life I don’t want to live. (2) Movement Easy 4k before the gym, strength training with Mark, and easy walk/jog on the trails for another 4k with my best buddy Rory dog! I also made it to my Monday evening restorative yoga class. (3) Hydration I hydrated well today. I had my LMNT and a lot more water. (4) Nutrition I’m so grateful to have had some healthy meals prepared for me this week. I got my protein in and had veggies, salmon, protein shake and bar, shrimp and noodles with veggies. No candy. (5) Mindset I listened to my guided meditation this morning. I feel like yoga class kind of counts towards mindset also. And I resurrected my book project that I put to the side last year. (6) Community I chatted it up at yoga class and am checking in here. I also commented on and read Sober Endurance items on FB. Great day overall. I have to bill more hours tomorrow, though. I can’t have all days like this.

Day 3/90 Photos: Dreaming of the ADU (Anchor Down Ultra) at Colt State Park … some highlights from that run and also my other workouts today Struggle: Visiting my Dad at the geriatric psych ward was hard today. He was not having a good day and threw a tantrum. He was very agitated (as he is a lot nowadays). I wanted to eat these feelings or do something to not feel them. Win: I ran before the visit at Colt State Park where the ADU takes place because I had a feeling it was going to be a hard visit today. I didn’t eat my feelings after. I did house chores, took a nap, and then decided to run to and back from my late afternoon yoga class. (1) No alcohol I did not drink today. I am very grateful for my recovered state of mind and body. If anyone has any questions about how I got here don’t hesitate to ask privately or in the comments (and I can start sharing the history of sobriety in more detail during my check ins) (2) Movement I wish I didn’t work every day of my life because I’d have days like this. 90 minute yin yoga to start the day, 11k at Colt State Park ADU course, run to and from afternoon yoga (another 12k), and the 5pm yoga class itself. (3) Hydration I got my LMNT water in today and also drank several more large travel cups full and a big Pellegrino sparkling. (4) Nutrition Not terrible today. No candy. I actually found and ordered some protein gummy candy so I can have some candy and feel less guilt. It’s crazy that I use candy to “feel better” or to abate feelings but it really just makes me feel worse … that guilt/shame/remorse circle. (5) Mindset I listened to my morning guided meditation and an afternoon nap meditation (after visiting Dad). My mind was not in the greatest place after visiting him. I’m also listening to The Way of Excellence by Brad Stulberg. (6) Community I reached out to my therapist and scheduled an appointment for next Friday. I also visited my Dad. And I’m posting here again and responded to some posts and texts related to 90PROOF. Also chatted with people I’ve not before at yoga class.

Day 2/90 Photos: Drip (floating meditation chamber place I go to) and my father-in-law, niece, and Rory playing fetch in the yard. Struggle: I wanted to binge on candy so bad tonight. Celtics Game 7 with no Tatum would normally equal candy binge. Update: I did end up finishing off some sour patch kids and a couple cookies during the fourth quarter. Not my finest moment but it’s been much worse lately. Win: This program is already affecting my thinking. I ran today when I might not have otherwise due to morning commitments. (1) No alcohol I did not drink today. (2) Movement I’ve been so tired still even with the events with my parents calming down (for those that don’t know we’ve had to get both my parents in memory care facilities in the last two months) and work calming down so I slept in and had some morning commitments. This program helped. I said “let me just get out for a mile” and ended up doing 5k. (3) Hydration I did drink my LMNT water today and a more water. I may not have hydrated as well as yesterday but I still did a good job. (4) Nutrition I’m making progress. I refrained from candy today. We had dinner at my in-laws tonight so I had more pasta than I normally would. Hoping I can wake up early tomorrow and long run. (5) Mindset I was able to get to one of my floating meditations. These are so good for me. I also listened to my guided meditation this morning. (6) Community I’m checking in here. I responded to a few comments. I reached out to a fellow alcoholic to make some plans to get together. He’s going to help me with some jewelry for Erin and my 5th anniversary later this year. I also got to my in-laws (who I haven’t seen much since all the dealings with my folks) and spent time with family. It was a good day overall. Also got some important electrical work on the house done and dropped off a ton of photos from my parent’s house (we’re cleaning it out and getting ready to sell it) to be digitized. I’m off to bed. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!