i believe all struggles shown on the outside such as communication confidence etc feel so permanent because we internalize it so deeply thinking of ourselves as anti social socially awkward taking and small loss to strengthen that idea and not doing the same for the positives for e.g remembering a good convo and it having no impact on ur perception of yourself as a good communicator but allowing and equivalent bad convo have a strong impact and being internalised deeply (feel free to share ur thoughts)