Why Are We Here? · Real Men Real Style Community

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Why Are We Here?

good morning gentlemen,

Lately I have been reading a lot of these comments especially as we move into the upcoming holiday season. I have read and seen men in this community grow and thrive, but then when they are in situations because of weather, surroundings, or people they are willing to cave to the norm or to what everyone else is doing or wearing. Then we try to justify because we know that we are not that person anymore. I want to tell you this “ It’s okay not to be okay!” You do not have to fit in, you do not have to dress like everyone else, if you do then why are you here. Are you an under cover brother? Why do you feel that you have to fit in with the norm? And who told you they are the norm? If a blind person leads another blind person then eventually they both end up in the ditch.

Gentlemen, we made a commitment to ourselves and each other to be the best we can be. To create a society of gentlemen that can become leaders and not followers. Okay I get it this all new to you but, it’s okay you are going to feel awkward at first. That’s because for the first time in your life you are in control of you, you are starting to see your self worth in you. You know that people are noticing you that would have probably never noticed you before.

When I started wearing suits all the time, I will admit I was very apprehensive about going into certain places because I knew I was going to stand out. And I did big time. I was being watched and noticed from the time I walked in. I was so nervous, but then I realized they were looking at me, why? Because many of them began to tug at their clothes, adjust themselves, look down at themselves, then when the waitresses, store employees, or business people started coming up to me from the time I walk in a place asking If they could help or just to introduce themselves I knew then that I was noticed because they want to know me, they wanted to be like me, they wanted to associate themselves with me. Now I am not saying this to be conceited by any means; I say this because, they saw value and worth in me, they were drawn to want to be in my presence to get to know me. I tell you in all sincerity, I get people all the time that stop me and ask me if they could take my picture, or take a picture with me. I receive compliments all the time. I get asked about where I shop at or how to get started in dressing better. I get young people asking me advice. So yes I stand out and that is a good thing. Yes in the heat of the summer I got hot in a suit at first. But question, people in the Middle East wearing long clothing and head wraps all day every day all their lives, and where they are is far worse heat, trust me been there several times. Do they Throw on some shorts or tank tops? Or wear certain clothes because it’s comfortable? No they dressed because of their faith, their heritage and they adapted and it did not bother them. For me I was hot in the beginning I will not lie, or I thought I was, actually I was just uncomfortable because I was not use to it. But now it does not bother me at all I don’t even think about it. I wear a suit or blazer seven days a week 365 days a year and I love it.

Now I am not suggesting that you have to be like me ( you should) just kidding, what I am saying is stop compromising for reasons that you know are not you. It is okay to stand out, be that leader or trend setter in your area in a positive way. Lead by example yes people are going to look and you some will out of envy, jealousy, and because they wish they had the strength and tenacity that you have to step up and out.

I see some men on here that are like me and wear suit and blazers all the time, ask them get encouragement from them. I have the upmost respect for these gentlemen who are willing to not be the norm and not try to fit in. Where I live there are areas that filled with people that dress for success, they dress with intent and class. Then are areas of the city where people dress like they just do not care they just exist and the difference is that the upper classier area the mindset is totally different, better, friendlier, they work out their issues in class and style. The other part of town, they are like mindless robots, they all dress the same style ( sweats, hoodies, sliders, big clothes,) some in clothes with logos that they can’t even afford much less wear. And they handle their differences in violence. And actual the mindset is in alignment with their attire.

Gentlemen stop making compromises with yourself, be willing to step out of the norm, be who you came to this community to be, find that person in you that you came here looking for. Is it going to feel awkward? yes, is it going to be uncomfortable? yes. But is it worth it? Yes if not again, Why Are We Here.

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