And about 50 work hours later with 9-15 people. Scorching hot and we got it done. A 15ft SuperAdobe dome that is fire, earthquake, and mold resistant. This is the 4th dome we have completed since February. Feeling proud, tired, and encouraged as we move towards building our own home in the future.

This was the first thing that I was confronted with when I clicked LEAVE MEETING on Zoom. To all those who are able to do what Uncle Jidu says here, you are REALLY LIVING.

I could buy my wife flowers today, or I could start to observe on my daily routes where wildflowers are growing by the roadside. I could plan to pick them when they are in bloom and fragrant. I can make my own bouquet and give it to her another day. Yes, it would take more time and intention. Great. Perfect. I could make my wife a bouquet of wildflowers and give it to her. I can also give her time. My time. Not more of my time. More quality of the current time. Conscious replies in conversation, stripped of fear and emotion that’s steeped in low self-esteem. I have done this too long. Apologies can be nice, but let me cut out the middleman. I must continue to pause, reflect and respond with my words as my flowers. My energy as my flowers. Enough of the wildness without the flowers. A tree without good fruit is not a good tree. I must cultivate my soil and water it so that I can bloom flowers and fruits of kindness, because if I continue to feed my soil (my head) with self-doubt, I won't last. I will wither away and alone. Everything is ok and Nothing is OK. I can stand right in the middle of my fire in peace and love. The moment (millisecond) I am carried off on a flare of emotion or scar I have engrained in myself, my flames can lash out like a whip. So I must stand in the middle of my fire, grow my roots in the warm Earth beneath me; Grow thick healthy bark that can withstand my flame-lit emotions, send out branches, twigs, leaves, buds and flowers that are as wild as my heart, and bare my worthy fruits, bears' fruit, that are resistant to the fire blight of my fears and doubts. For when it is my time to lay my trunk down to rest, I know I have left behind love, and my body can be consumed, transformed, regrow and flower into Ancestor-hood.

You are walking the path the ancestors prepared for you. Don’t let negative thoughts cloud the vision they’ve gifted you. Stand grounded, observe deeply, and trust that you are exactly where you’re meant to be.🌬️🍃 Message: The path before you is no accident, it is woven with wisdom and intention. Release the grip of negativity and trust the guidance flowing through you. Ground yourself in this moment; it is exactly where you are meant to grow.

I want to name something I struggle with—this pressure to find my purpose, to be in service and to know my unique eternal soul duty on why I’m here. The more I see it come to my awareness in different cultures—dharma, ikigai, kuleana— it continuously frustrates me to not feel I have this one thing or specific calling to name. This point between passion, mission, vocation, service and profession is where I yearn to have clarity. I feel a tension between the fire of purpose and the fog of inaction. It’s tough because I feel like my purpose is a wildfire—spreading wide, burning deep—but not striking like a lightning bolt with clear direction and focus. I feel I’m being pulled in all directions without an anchor. Without knowing where to lay the anchor leaves me in a state of non-commitment and even numbness at times. There’s a quote that’s been sitting heavy on my heart that says “every human is guilty of all the good they did not do.” This weighs on me not because of the guilt I feel for not doing more, but the responsibility I hold knowing I’m capable of more. I see myself doing more. I see the visions, but vision without action is a daydream and action without vision is a nightmare. I’ve lived both but lately, I feel in a prolonged fucking daydream. I’m here to turn vision into aligned action—to create momentum within myself through tribe. I’m committing myself to this community because what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working and committing to nothing has left me distracted by everything. I’m ready to take more aligned action in my life. I’m ready to be witnessed without being remotely close to having this “life” or “purpose” thing figured out. I’m ready to do more—for myself, for my community, for my contribution while I’m here.