New here? Let’s not be strangers. 🍉Where are you from? 🍉What brought you here? 🍉What would you like to learn/find here? 🍉Maybe one thing we should know about you? I’ll go first 👀

One of the MOST common sexual issues for both men and women, yet almost no one admits they have it. “What if I don’t get aroused?” “What if I can’t satisfy them?” “What if my body fails me?” “What if I disappoint them?” Sound familiar? That’s fear of sexual failure, the anxiety that something will go “wrong” during sex and you won’t be “good enough.” 🧠 What’s underneath this fear? Spoiler: it’s not really about sex. It’s about anxiety, perfectionism, and the pressure to perform. Common roots include: - 🌪 Performance anxiety - your brain shifts into “evaluation mode” instead of “pleasure mode.” - 😬 Overthinking - focusing on the outcome instead of sensations. - 💔 Fear of rejection. - 😶 Shame about your body or skills. - 🔥 Putting your partner on a pedestal (“they’re too good for me”). - 🧨 Past negative experiences - even one “failed attempt” can create a loop. And when anxiety hits, your nervous system goes into “threat mode,” lowering arousal. For men → difficulties with erection or control. For women → lack of lubrication, tension, pain, difficulty relaxing. 🧩 How it shows up: - avoiding sex with new partners - needing “perfect conditions” to feel comfortable - being overly controlling or emotionally checked out - losing pleasure - feeling like you’re watching yourself from the outside - avoiding intimacy to avoid “failing” 🧠 Important truth Fear of sexual failure creates the failure itself. 100% nervous system logic. When the brain is anxious, the body cannot feel pleasure. Period. 💡 What helps? (If you want, I can make a full post with techniques.) But briefly: - 🧘‍♂️ shift focus from performance → to sensation - 💬 name the anxiety — it reduces pressure instantly - 🐢 slow down, let the body catch up - 😏 choose connection, not perfection - 🤝 work with a therapist if it becomes a repeating pattern Have you ever felt scared your body might “not perform”?

Ever wondered how many times in a row a man can have sex? Or how long sex is “supposed” to last? 🧠 Let’s unpack the myths and get into the science. ✅ On average, studies show that penile-vaginal intercourse lasts 5–7 minutes. In a large multinational study of 500 heterosexual couples, the median intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) that’s from penetration to ejaculation was 5.4 minutes ✅ Most men need a refractory period (aka recovery time) after orgasm. The range in the study was extremely wide: from under 1 minute to over 44 minutes. That could be a few minutes… or a few hours. It gets longer with age, stress, alcohol, or lack of sleep. And yes porn completely lies about this. ✅ Women? We don’t have a refractory period. Which is why some women can have multiple orgasms but only if they feel safe, connected, and actually turned on. ✅ Research on multiple orgasms in men is limited, and while some men report them, they are rare 🔍 How This Changes the Narrative - If you’re chasing “30‑minute sex” or multiple rounds back‑to‑back every time — you’re chasing a myth. - Knowing the average is ~5-7 minutes helps you let go of the clock and focus on what really matters: pleasure, connection, presence. - The variations (range up to 44 minutes and beyond) mean what’s normal is wide, there’s no single “right” number. - The refractory period isn’t a flaw. it’s natural and influenced by many factors (age, health, novelty). - So if you’re worried you “can’t go again” fast, or you’re done in “too short” a time. it might just be your physiology + context, not a failure. 🔥 Guys, this part is for you: If you’ve ever felt pressure to perform, go multiple rounds, or always be ready… you’re not alone. But stamina isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. Mental. Nervous-system based. 👇 So tell me: What’s helped you last longer, stay present, or enjoy sex more? Breathing? Kegels? Better foreplay? Mindset shifts? Drop your tips in the comments. let’s support each other. 🔥

I’ve been doing some research - talking to people, reading studies, asking my clients, friends and strangers. And here’s what I’ve found: The most common factor people mention when describing great sex? Feeling safe to talk about what they like. Turns out, good sex isn’t about performance - it’s about communication, presence, and relaxation. People who feel free to express their needs, set boundaries, and share desires tend to report way more satisfaction in bed. So… maybe the real “sex skill” isn’t about technique. Maybe it’s about how well you can talk, listen and stay present... How easy is it for you to talk about sex?

Let’s be honest, you’ve probably been thinking about it for a while 😏 Telling yourself: “I’ll start when things calm down.” “When I have time.” “When it gets bad/better enough.” Well… this is your sign🔥 Don’t wait for a breakdown to start rebuilding yourself. This week, I’m giving away 5 free diagnostic sessions for those who are ready to finally stop postponing and start understanding themselves. Normally, this session costs €200, but right now it’s free for new clients only. During the session, we’ll figure out what’s blocking your energy emotionally, sexually, mentally and what exactly needs to shift for you to achieve your goals. You’ll leave with clarity, direction, and a personal strategy for growth 💪 ⚠️ If you’ve already booked a free session before and didn’t show up that chance has expired. You can still book a new one, but this time it’s paid. Lets respect time of each other and dont miss opportunities. You can find available slots here: https://cal.com/my-psychologist/diagnostic-session-30-min?overlayCalendar=true ⏳ 5 free spots only. Once they’re gone they’re gone. If you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. DM me now to claim your spot before someone else takes it. — Irina 💕