One of the MOST common sexual issues for both men and women, yet almost no one admits they have it. “What if I don’t get aroused?” “What if I can’t satisfy them?” “What if my body fails me?” “What if I disappoint them?” Sound familiar? That’s fear of sexual failure, the anxiety that something will go “wrong” during sex and you won’t be “good enough.” 🧠 What’s underneath this fear? Spoiler: it’s not really about sex. It’s about anxiety, perfectionism, and the pressure to perform. Common roots include: - 🌪 Performance anxiety - your brain shifts into “evaluation mode” instead of “pleasure mode.” - 😬 Overthinking - focusing on the outcome instead of sensations. - 💔 Fear of rejection. - 😶 Shame about your body or skills. - 🔥 Putting your partner on a pedestal (“they’re too good for me”). - 🧨 Past negative experiences - even one “failed attempt” can create a loop. And when anxiety hits, your nervous system goes into “threat mode,” lowering arousal. For men → difficulties with erection or control. For women → lack of lubrication, tension, pain, difficulty relaxing. 🧩 How it shows up: - avoiding sex with new partners - needing “perfect conditions” to feel comfortable - being overly controlling or emotionally checked out - losing pleasure - feeling like you’re watching yourself from the outside - avoiding intimacy to avoid “failing” 🧠 Important truth Fear of sexual failure creates the failure itself. 100% nervous system logic. When the brain is anxious, the body cannot feel pleasure. Period. 💡 What helps? (If you want, I can make a full post with techniques.) But briefly: - 🧘‍♂️ shift focus from performance → to sensation - 💬 name the anxiety — it reduces pressure instantly - 🐢 slow down, let the body catch up - 😏 choose connection, not perfection - 🤝 work with a therapist if it becomes a repeating pattern Have you ever felt scared your body might “not perform”?

Ever wondered how many times in a row a man can have sex? Or how long sex is “supposed” to last? 🧠 Let’s unpack the myths and get into the science. ✅ On average, studies show that penile-vaginal intercourse lasts 5–7 minutes. In a large multinational study of 500 heterosexual couples, the median intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) that’s from penetration to ejaculation was 5.4 minutes ✅ Most men need a refractory period (aka recovery time) after orgasm. The range in the study was extremely wide: from under 1 minute to over 44 minutes. That could be a few minutes… or a few hours. It gets longer with age, stress, alcohol, or lack of sleep. And yes porn completely lies about this. ✅ Women? We don’t have a refractory period. Which is why some women can have multiple orgasms but only if they feel safe, connected, and actually turned on. ✅ Research on multiple orgasms in men is limited, and while some men report them, they are rare 🔍 How This Changes the Narrative - If you’re chasing “30‑minute sex” or multiple rounds back‑to‑back every time — you’re chasing a myth. - Knowing the average is ~5-7 minutes helps you let go of the clock and focus on what really matters: pleasure, connection, presence. - The variations (range up to 44 minutes and beyond) mean what’s normal is wide, there’s no single “right” number. - The refractory period isn’t a flaw. it’s natural and influenced by many factors (age, health, novelty). - So if you’re worried you “can’t go again” fast, or you’re done in “too short” a time. it might just be your physiology + context, not a failure. 🔥 Guys, this part is for you: If you’ve ever felt pressure to perform, go multiple rounds, or always be ready… you’re not alone. But stamina isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. Mental. Nervous-system based. 👇 So tell me: What’s helped you last longer, stay present, or enjoy sex more? Breathing? Kegels? Better foreplay? Mindset shifts? Drop your tips in the comments. let’s support each other. 🔥