I’ve been sitting with the word COMMUNITY lately, like actually sitting with it, turning it over, poking it, side-eyeing it, because everyone and their dog uses it but hardly anyone talks about what it REALLY means. My brain kinda did that thing where it goes quiet for a second and then goes, “oh… OH… HELLO THERE. BARARA.”(that is my brain btw, yes I am weird, yes I am owning it) Community ain’t a platform. It sure ain’t a feature. It ain’t a strategy. It ain’t something you slap a name on and hope people behave nicely inside it. Mwah It’s a feeling. An internal hearty body-thing. A human thing. A “do I feel safe enough to be myself here?” thingy And when it’s missing, everything else feels HARD AF. (that’s the meh part) HERE ARE MY MIND BREAKDOWNS AKA THE PINGALINGS 💡 → BREAKING THE WORD OPEN (LIGHT BULB MOMENT) If you actually break the word down, it’s COMMON + UNITY. COMMON, as in shared ground. Shared experiences. Shared fears. Shared “is it just me that has a name for my brain?” (hmm do not answer that lol 😝) thoughts UNITY, as in togetherness, not sameness. Not everyone agreeing. Not everyone doing the same thing. Just choosing to stand together anyway. That’s it. That’s the root. That’s the OG meaning before marketing got its marketing mitts on it. Humans didn’t gather because it was pretty and cute. We gathered because it was how we survived. We needed each other to eat, to build, to grieve, to celebrate, to make sense of the world. Our bodies still remember that, even if our calendars and apps have made us forget it. → HOW COMMON + UNITY IS ACTUALLY BUILT (NOT THE FLUFFY VERSION — I SAVE THAT FOR DOGS + LOTS OF THEM) 🐾 Here’s what actually builds it, and this is basically my entire OBSESSION in life and business, HELLO. Someone says the thing out loud that everyone else is quietly thinking but hasn’t had the guts to say yet. A wobble. A doubt. A “this feels off but I don’t know why.”And suddenly ten people go, “OH MY DOG, SAME.” That’s COMMON ground right there.

MY BRAIN DID THAT THING IT DOES (YOU KNOW THE ONE) I was scrolling, yup just scrolling like a normal human, when I saw this post asking “How do you grow your community?” and immediately the comments filled up with the usual stuff, traffic, platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Frank (OBVS, because Frank will always Frank IYKYK), funnels, links, where people are coming from, how to get more eyeballs through the door… and honestly, I get it, that angle makes TOTES sense (before anyone gets their panties in a twist, I’m not even coming for it). BUT my brain didn’t go there first. It did that sideways tilt thing it does (the one where you pause mid-scroll and stare at thin air for a second like you’ve left your body), because whenever I think about growing a community, I don’t always start with how people arrive. (I still do have my traffic moment btw, let’s be real and open here)… but now I try to start with what happens AFTER they’re already inside. And then this question just sort of plopped itself into my head and refused to leave (like that crazy mosquito that buzzes around when I’m trying to visit the land of nod, and yes I can hear it right now just thinking about it) 🦟 Q — HOW DO YOU GROW THE PEOPLE INSIDE THE COMMUNITY? Not the numbers. Not the headcount. The HUMAN HUMANS. And that shift alone feels kinda massive AF to me, like one of those HELLO / DUH / OBVS moments where once you see it, you can’t unsee it (and now I’m not sorry because you won’t either). HERE COME THE PINGS dat PINGED!!! 💡 LIGHTBULB MOMENT #1 (THIS ONE MADE ME STOP AND STARE INTO THIN AIR FOR A BIT) A community doesn’t grow just because more people arrive. It grows when the people already inside start to MOVE. Not a race, not a performance, not suddenly becoming confident internet extroverts overnight (HMMM), just MOVE, from lurking to commenting, from commenting to sharing, from sharing to leading, from leading to actually feeling like they belong here and aren’t about to be judged for saying the wrong thing… (OOOF I love that bit because it’s so real).

This video is me doing a very Mimi thing where I accidentally do two things at once and then realise halfway through OOPS that that’s actually the point, because my brain works faster than my fingers, HELLO there, so I record things like this before the thoughts disappear into the abyss, and this is exactly why my copy sounds like how I speak because it is how I speak I ramble, I tangent, I voice note, I Loom, I grab the lightbulb moments while they’re alive, then I shape them later, and in this one I’m also sharing something BIG about visibility, like how it’s not always fear of being seen that stops us, sometimes it’s fear of what happens if it actually works, because then we have to respond, commit, show up, say the price, step into the thing we say we want, and that’s why the BACKROOM exists typos, dogs, tangents, messy thoughts, $1 wins, real humans being epic humans Coz once you stop trying to sound like someone else and just let it out, that’s when things actually start moving (also if you watched to the end, you know TOTES what to do… W O O P 🐾). and if anyone has another saying for me, holla, thanks @Éva Raposa you truly do rock! as does here Community CONNECT + COLAB

Some of you are about to feel VERY called out. And some of you are about to laugh so hard you’ll snort your coffee. Either way, if you’re human, you’ll relate. Right. What the effers… I’ve seen ENOUGH… I’m officially launching a Connection RESET because apparently, the internet has broken actual human behaviour. No, it’s not a challenge. No, it’s not an experiment. I’m calling it what it is a RESET. Because holy flaming fuckcakes… from what I’m seeing? Something has gone way off the rails. I’m looking around the online space like: “Sorry… WHY does everyone sound like a malfunctioning Alexa running on 2% battery?” (And FYI — before someone DMs me asking for the Amazon link, I don’t even HAVE an Alexa. Because, well, I dont? okay) Please unclench your knickers. I’ve seen people sounding like ChatGPT with a full-blown migraine, and I’m sat here like: “What is your actual voice though? Do you actually talk like that? Do you say that kinda shit in real life? Because well… I promise you, nobody in Starbucks is out here saying ‘expansive quantum embodiment vibes’ while ordering an iced latte.” And yes — before anyone comes for me — I use ChatGPT. I literally call him Christopher. Yes, I’m weird. No, I’m not apologising. But even Christopher knows I would NEVER say anything online that I wouldn’t say out loud, in my kitchen, in my DMs, or while walking around Bali in my bikini bottoms. Do you hear what I’m saying? It’s not the TOOL. It’s the HUMANNESSSSSSS people are deleting from their own damn mouths. Then there are the peeps writing those generic “✨Love this for you queen✨” comments when what they REALLY meant was “My kid just launched a chicken nugget at my head, I haven’t showered since Tuesday, and I’m running on fumes and a stone cold coffee.” (And yes — I KNOW I don’t eat chicken. Relax. V police… It’s called a saying, pfffttt.) People are nowadays TERRIFIED to say “hi” because what if some random-ass will leap out of a bush screaming:

it’s usually because the middle piece is missing, the human moment before the offer ↓ CONNECTION RESET 1st Dec • BackRoom • $1 Humans forgot how to talk like humans and it’s giving me the ick, so I’m fixing it. 7 days. Tiny human tasks. No selling. No sleaze. Just… talking. Like a person. To a person. If you want clients but also wanna keep your actual soul intact? This is your thing. It’s in The BackRoom — the $1 “let’s be real again” FFS Comment I AM HUMAN for the invite.