🧨 ONLY ACTUAL HUMANS WILL READ THIS TO THE BOTTOM — AND THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT. 🧨
Some of you are about to feel VERY called out.
And some of you are about to laugh so hard you’ll snort your coffee.
Either way, if you’re human, you’ll relate.
Right.
What the effers…
I’ve seen ENOUGH…
I’m officially launching a Connection RESET because apparently, the internet has broken actual human behaviour.
No, it’s not a challenge.
No, it’s not an experiment.
I’m calling it what it is
a RESET.
Because holy flaming fuckcakes… from what I’m seeing?
Something has gone way off the rails.
I’m looking around the online space like:
“Sorry… WHY does everyone sound like a malfunctioning Alexa running on 2% battery?”
(And FYI — before someone DMs me asking for the Amazon link, I don’t even HAVE an Alexa.
Because, well, I dont? okay)
Please unclench your knickers.
I’ve seen people sounding like ChatGPT with a full-blown migraine, and I’m sat here like:
“What is your actual voice though?
Do you actually talk like that?
Do you say that kinda shit in real life?
Because well… I promise you, nobody in Starbucks is out here saying ‘expansive quantum embodiment vibes’ while ordering an iced latte.”
And yes — before anyone comes for me —
I use ChatGPT.
I literally call him Christopher.
Yes, I’m weird.
No, I’m not apologising.
But even Christopher knows
I would NEVER say anything online that I wouldn’t say out loud, in my kitchen, in my DMs, or while walking around Bali in my bikini bottoms.
Do you hear what I’m saying?
It’s not the TOOL.
It’s the HUMANNESSSSSSS people are deleting from their own damn mouths.
Then there are the peeps writing those generic “✨Love this for you queen✨” comments when what they REALLY meant was
“My kid just launched a chicken nugget at my head, I haven’t showered since Tuesday, and I’m running on fumes and a stone cold coffee.”
(And yes — I KNOW I don’t eat chicken. Relax. V police… It’s called a saying, pfffttt.)
People are nowadays TERRIFIED to say “hi” because what if some random-ass will leap out of a bush screaming:
“That’s NOT high-converting!! Adjust your micro-CTA!! Optimise your buyer journey!!”
Look.
I totes love micro-commitment psychology as much as the next obsessed messaging badass… but can we ALSO remember we’re allowed to be human?
Because I swear to dog, if one more person tells you to “cultivate aligned relational portals of energetic dialogue”…
I will lace up my flip-flops, and walk myself straight into the sea.
So yes.
Here we are.
in 2025.
And I — a fully grown adult —am somehow in the position of giving other fully grown adults permission to sound like actual fcking humans.
Let’s break down the shizzle
Funnels? Love.
AI? Delicious.
Optimisation? Sexy.
Inject it directly into my veins.
But do you know what hasn’t changed?
Not once.
Not ever.
HUMANS.
Humans haven’t changed.
Humans STILL want to feel like… humans.
Wild revolutionary concept, right?
And yet, even though HUMANS are literally the ones BUYING your offers, half the internet has forgotten that they’re SPEAKING to humans.
Conversations right now look like
– Overthought essays
– Cardboard-stiff energy
– Scripts
– Desperation
– Awkward AF
– “Hey hun” trauma
– Robotic
– Rehearsed
– Insert personalised line here vibes
– Panic typing
– Ghostable
– And full on Natwest loan-application energy
People are DMing like they’re trying to refinance their soul.
Meanwhile I’m sat here like: “Have… have we actually lost the fucking plot??”
So yeeah
Mama Mimi is stepping in.
We’re doing a 7-Day Connection Reset starting Monday 1st December.
And let me be VERY super duper clear:
No selling.
No pressure.
No sleaze.
No “just checking in!” scripts that make your spine leave your body.
No pretending you care while secretly staring at your Stripe tab.
Just humans.
Talking.
To humans.
Like HUMANS.
Because when you get THIS piece right?
Everything changes.
You stop feeling invisible.
People actually reply.
Your content lands deeper.
Momentum moves.
Sales happen WITHOUT you turning into a circus
You feel like YOU again — not some AI-generated knockoff of yourself.
Now pllleeeaasseeee try not to faint,
but I am telling you to forget selling for a minute.
I KNOW.
Call the police.
Strip me of my business card.
Throw me into entrepreneur jail.
But seriously… forget the selling...
4get the algorithm.
4get the panic posting.
4get the vanity metrics.
4get the ChatGPT-perfection cosplay.
Because once you fix the HUMAN bit?
You win long-term.
Effortlessly.
Repeatedly.
Calmly.
Without the theatrics.
Without the pressure.
Without the I wanna vomit dread.
And here’s the SLAP 🤦‍♀️
HUMANS buy offers.
Humans. Not robots. Not follower counts.
Not the algorithm.
Not your “reach.” Humans.
You’re a human. (IF YOU ARE STILL READING, IM GONNA BRAVELY SAY YES YOU ARE)
Your audience?
Also humans. (mind blowing shit hey?)
So naturally… the solution is…drumroll…
be a f*cking human.
So yes, human
I’m running this Reset.
It’s simple.
It’s messy.
It’s magnetic.
It’s real AF
It’s the middle piece so many catapulted off a cliff during their fourth funnel meltdown.
And the cherry on the shit-the-bed sundae?
You can join us for $1.
I KNOW. Fck me sideways. ONE DOLLAR.
Because I only want the HUMANS in the room (the Backroom to be exact)
not the lurkers,
not the robots,
not the algorithm hoes,
not the personality-deleted AI clones.
Only humans welcome.
The rest of you can sit quietly in the corner and recalibrate your micro-portals or whatever.
So…
are you in?
Or do I need to create a “How to Human for Beginners” workbook too?
If you’ve ever wanted to be part of the only humans-welcome club, Comment I AM HUMAN and I’ll get your invite sorted!
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Mimi Ramsey
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🧨 ONLY ACTUAL HUMANS WILL READ THIS TO THE BOTTOM — AND THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT. 🧨
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