Jan 6 (edited) • 💬 General discussion
Main Learnings for Beginners (my take from 3 years in MoA)
I joined MoA in December 2021, back in the day when all the people who are coaches now were starting out as well. I’ve met most of them personally and lived with Michael for a month. I’ve witnessed a lifestyle I wanted for myself, and I had never seen anyone else live it before (least of all dating coaches). So I made it my absolute priority to burn through MoA and apply all the lessons as fast and clean as I could. It’s an amazing program, and if you follow it without adding your own touches to it too early I`m positive 99% of people can get great results after 6 to 12 months of implementing it.
The last 3 years have been a very rewarding and amazingly interesting ride. I’ve gotten to know amazing people, experienced great adventures and also made some of my closest friends along the way. It’s not an exaggeration to say my life would’ve been radically different and a lot less fun had I not signed up for the program. My social connections, dating, and overall happiness are at a stage I honestly didn’t think possible, and if the journey would be over tomorrow, I could honestly say I’ve done more than the average man could do in several decades. I’m very grateful I found this thing still in my early 30s, and I’d like to give something back.
That said, I have seen a lot of people reaching out asking for tips to get started. Also I’ve witnessed some or most guys (including myself) make some serious mistakes impeding their progress, so I thought I’d share my main takeaways and learnings along the way. This is highly subjective of course, here`s my IG if you want to check out what I’ve been doing these past few years:
So here we go:
- Really, REALLY fix your instagram first. It’s mentioned plenty in the program so I won’t go into it much. But I recommend you spend at least 3-4 months prioritizing this to a point where your Instagram has impressive content and around 30-50 posts, before you even consider anything else.
- Don’t try to get laid in year 1: Yes, we’re all here for the girls. But as I said in a reply on this forum, the goal should be to create a high value social circle where girls perceive you as high status and approach you. This takes time, and the best way to do it is to friendzone everybody you meet, no matter guy or girl. I can’t stress how important this is. Focus on networking and simply KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF. Focus on your other goals instead and KEEP DOING IT (see below)
- Develop a skill like photography / videography: This will give you access to a lot of great events very early, without the need to host your own which is a BAD IDEA in the beginning. It’s also an attraction trigger for a lot of girls in the relevant niches, and a great chance to discover your creativity. Personally I became a videographer, and attended 5 photo shoots and / or red carpet events in my first 3 months in MoA which helped me make connections and learn the ins and outs of high value networking
- Get in 9/10 shape: The easiest way to separate yourself from the majority of guys is to simply look better than them. One year is all the time most people need to get into the top 10% with their physical shape, grooming and clothing. The results are noticeable with girls and guys, you’ll simply be treated better. Funny enough this is the easiest point and the one the fewest guys actually apply.
- Try to get everyone else laid: A big one for me. Whether it’s my male or female friends, I constantly talk with them about their dating life’s, preferences, breakups etc. and I actively try to hook them up with potential partners. This communicates all the right things like abundance, generosity, positivity and also is just a very nice thing to do for people that nobody does. Once you sincerely stop caring if you bang a girl, and rather help her to bang somebody else, people will notice. Girls will talk, guys will wonder. And everyone will want to have you around. The social proof you get from this is insane, and will help your dating life MUCH MORE than trying to close some girl you met at an event.
- Find an avatar and copy it exactly: The world of social media and networking is shallow. People’s attention span is low, stimulus is high so you won‘t have much time to leave an impression. If your clothing, haircut, style, demeanor etc. is congruent and in sync with an archetype, it’s much easier for people to relate to you. Also, women tend to be attracted to the idea of a man, not the man itself (hurts I know). This concept might be hard to grasp at first but fine examples would be Hank Moody from Californication (self-destructive Artist), Justin Waller (Entrepreneur), Timothy Chalamet (sensitive Fuckboy), Machine Gun Kelly (Rockstar) etc. Find what works best for you and what you can relate with, then start dressing that way and creating your content accordingly.
- Attend everything: This one is simple. Just don’t stay at home. Let people see you on industry nights, mixers, brunches, regular club-nights, catwalk shows etc. Mere exposure effect is very powerful, and you’ll be surprised how many people will connect with you simply because they’ve seen your face at the same bar many times over.
- Selfie stories with girls at every event: Buy a ringlight, and set yourself a goal of 10 selfie stories with girls every night. Check out my “NYE22” Story Highlight on IG, it was the first night I tried it cause Michael told me so. I had no idea the first girl I tried it with had a million followers, but it worked like a charm so I kept doing it (see my Oslo highlights, or Babes Miami) these are all cold, I didn’t know anyone of them. It doesn’t matter if it feels awkward at first, or if you feel like doing it— just do it. Most girls, even the ones with the big following, absolutely love it (as you can see above) You’ll get tons of social proof, confidence, as well as calibration for interacting with those girls. Additionally you create content they most of the time want to share. It’s one of the best ways to jumpstart your networking process
- Overuse IG rather then underuse: Post stories 10x a day at first, memes and stuff about your day. Get on the radar with people in your city, don‘t be shy or self-conscious about the content. It‘s much more important people realize you‘re part of the ecosystem now than whether or not your content is high quality. Note this goes for IG story not grid, which you should be a lot more selective about.
- Only focus on 1-3 goals for year 1: This is also a tough one, but since getting laid is not going to be one of them, it’s a lot easier. For me it was simple: 1. Treat everyone the same. 2. Make them talk about themselves. With these two things in mind I went into every interaction, and it grew my social circle exponentially. If you follow this and keep exposing yourself to social situations regularly, your network WILL grow.
- Don’t throw your own event in the first 6 months: This will be the hardest thing for most guys. Putting up a 6/10 Instagram, throwing together a list, renting a studio, and then just inviting models to come and maybe get laid at the after party is the most common expectation and short term goal I’ve seen in this program. But it won’t get you what you want. Most people are not calibrated to come across well on IG or worse at the event itself, don`t have experience with high status events and won`t be able to make the shoot a comfortable and rewarding experience, or become too touchy and invested at the after party and ruin their reputation before their journey even really got started. Even in big cities like NY people talk, and I have seen people fallen from the good graces of whole circles just because they jumped into the water too quickly.
I guess that’s it. Again this is my highly subjective take, and I’m sure not everyone agrees or may have a different view on certain issues. But the stuff I mentioned above worked for me and the people I’ve come to bring along for the ride. In any case, I hope this list can help someone on their journey and cut their learning curve. If there’s questions, you know where to find me. Best wishes
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Main Learnings for Beginners (my take from 3 years in MoA)
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