9d • General discussion
The Healer’s Shadow: Guidance, Governance, and the Ethics of Help
In our pursuit of mental wellbeing, it’s natural to seek out helpers, therapists, coaches, healers, who promise insight, relief, and meaning. Many practitioners do this work with integrity and care. But there is a dangerous line where guidance quietly turns into governance, and the helping relationship becomes something else entirely.
Nicola Barragry a fantastic Hypnotherapist and friend recommended I listen to a podcast that told the story of a healer Ann Craig. Listening highlighted how important it is to understand what a helpful relationship is, appears and what is good and healthy in the therapy space.
With the increased search for rapid healing and spiritual experiences more people are entering into unhealthy relationships and engaging in unhealthy practices on the therapy space.
To understand how this can happen, it’s important to look at the cautionary case of Anne Craig, whose work in London’s elite social circles became the focus of the investigative podcast Dangerous Memories. Her story offers a powerful blueprint for what can go wrong when boundaries dissolve and influence goes unchecked.
1. The Lure of the “Pink Room”
For Anne Craig’s clients, the experience didn’t begin with fear. It began with allure.
She was often recommended by word of mouth among wealthy families as “that amazing healer lady.”
The setting: Sessions took place in her home in Kensington/Chelsea, in a space famously described as “the pink room.”
The hook: For young, intelligent women at a crossroads, the intimacy of a private home felt more enlightened and personal than a clinical consulting room.
The experience: Early sessions were described as deeply validating. Clients felt profoundly seen. Craig was charismatic and warm, creating the sense that the “truth” behind their unhappiness was finally being uncovered.
This is where ethical practice matters. In professional therapy, clear physical and relational boundaries are not cold, they are protective. They exist to ensure the work is about your growth, not the practitioner’s influence. When those boundaries blur, empowerment can quietly slide into enmeshment.
2. The “Vanishing Act”: When Isolation Is Framed as Healing
Perhaps the most devastating element of this story is what families later called “The Break.”
Multiple reports describe young women who abruptly severed all ties with their previous lives. One woman, Hui, reportedly cycled away from her mother and did not return for six years.
The “toxic” narrative: Family members were reframed as villains. Ordinary conflict was no longer seen as part of human relationships, but as evidence of deep, hidden malice.
The result: Some clients changed their names, moved to secret locations, and came to view their parents as dangerous.
The human reality
Healthy therapy recognises complexity. Most parents are not villains; they are human beings doing the best they can with the tools they had at the time, often while carrying their own unhealed wounds.
Real healing does not require scorched-earth isolation. It involves learning boundaries and maintaining the emotional maturity to see loved ones as flawed humans rather than one-dimensional predators.
3. The Science of Suggestion: The Danger of Regression
One of the most controversial aspects of Craig’s work was the allegation of False Memory Syndrome (FMS). Clients reportedly emerged convinced they had been victims of horrific satanic or underground abuse memories that had not existed before therapy.
This is the loaded gun of regression work when used irresponsibly.
Leading questions: Asking “Who is hurting you in this memory?” rather than “What do you notice?” can push the brain especially in a suggestible state towards inventing answers to satisfy an authority figure.
Inadequate training: This is why accredited therapists (such as those registered with IHA or BSCH) have indepth training. They learn how to remain neutral and avoid planting ideas.
You can reach trauma quickly, but only when you know exactly what you’re doing. Speed is not the problem; lack of skill, containment, and understanding is.
Trauma work must be done in a way that protects the nervous system and preserves psychological safety. When it isn’t, the risks are serious: re-traumatisation, destabilisation, and the creation of false or distorted memories.
This is why short, weekend-style training in regression techniques is deeply irresponsible.
Ethical practice requires trauma literacy, rigorous training, supervision, and a respect for the client’s internal pacing. There are no shortcuts — only skill, care, and accountability.
4. What a Healthy Healing Relationship Actually Looks Like
If you or your child are seeking support, a healthy therapeutic relationship should feel like a transparent partnership, not a mysterious initiation.
Look for these green flags:
A clear contract: Written agreements outlining fees, session frequency, and review points.
The right to complain: Ethical practitioners will tell you how to raise concerns. If questioning them is labelled as “resistance,” the power dynamic is already unsafe.
Clinical supervision: Every responsible therapist has a supervisor, someone who helps them stay objective and accountable. Unregulated coaches often have no such oversight.
Ethical confidentiality: Privacy exists to protect safety, not to isolate clients from friends, family, or alternative viewpoints.
Final Thoughts..
Healing is about expansion, not contraction. It should make your world bigger, your relationships richer, and your own voice stronger.
The danger of the shadow healer is that they replace the messy complexity of real life with a terrifying, one-dimensional story. True growth allows you to look at the people who shaped you and say:
“You did the best you could. I’m choosing to do things differently.”
And to do that without disappearing into the night.
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The Healer’s Shadow: Guidance, Governance, and the Ethics of Help
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