i asked for the AI translate bc i wrote the struggles/wins in portuguese, hope you dont mind 1. Chasing the feeling of winning I have bipolar disorder, and I've always been deeply attached to intense emotions and quick sensations. I urgently needed that rush—the feeling of winning—regardless of where it came from. So I fell into several cycles of addiction: drugs, gambling, and anything else that could give me that feeling. Anything that made me feel like I was winning became the most important thing in my life. For a long time, that blinded me. I pushed away and underestimated people who mattered to me—family, relationships, friends. But whenever those manic phases passed, I missed all of them. 2. Ambition without enough grounding I'm someone with incredibly big dreams. Some people might even say they're unrealistic, but I refuse to believe that. Sometimes, though, I lose touch with reality. Combined with my diagnosis, that makes me someone who doesn't measure the cost of achieving what I want. That created financial problems and put me in extremely difficult situations—problems that, in many cases, could have been avoided with a little planning. Because of those impulses driven by my goals, I put myself in uncomfortable and complicated situations and humiliated myself more times than I'd like to admit. 3. Being too intense I'm an extremely intense person in everything I feel, including negative emotions. Even though I never seem to stop moving forward, when I'm in an extremely negative state, I find myself returning to negative habits, places, and people. That makes me lose part of the progress I've made. So I constantly feel like I'm fighting against myself—as if some part of me always wants to drag me down whenever I don't satisfy my own grandiose expectations. 4. Not appreciating small victories I know that everything is a process. I understand the importance of small steps and the things we accomplish every day. But those small victories have lost much of their value to me, and it's incredibly difficult for me to change that mindset.