5 Struggles - Fucked up: I fucked over my relationship with my women the only girl who Loved me for me & all my disgusting habits. I didn't treasure our relationship as much as I should have & I betrayed her trust, because of something I did & will always haunt me because she did not deserve my actions. - - Self doubt : sounds so gay typing this out but Self doubt is always screaming in the back of my head, WTF R U DOING !!!! & to be completely honest, I have no clue what I am doing But I have God by me & I know no matter what I do he will have my back. - - I am money motivated because I have had money, I know what it feels like to feel unstoppable, especially @ a young age , thought I could never go back to being broke thought i had it figured out by 19 but god had other plans for me. unstopable @ 19 yrs was not my path - - I had a really bad alcohol problem from 19 - 22 yrs NOTHING & I mean NOTHING good came from it besides the obv. being away from reality, Acceptance to drugs, disrespectfulness, Cheating, No self respect, wasting money, parties the list goes on. @ times when i am very stressed out or unfocused or even on acasual tuesday my mind flips a switch & tells me i want a drink because thats whats old me did. - - Eating, I am very bad @ eting, not that i am bad i just feel i am always running around i feel like evryone needs for somethin all the timei bareley sit down i live off caffine,naps & cold showers i do not know how to sit down & schedual myself properly & by doing that i allow myslelf to not meal prep or drink enough water or weigh my meals!!!! my biggest set back is definelty weighing my meals 5 Contrasting Wins: - She is the most beautiful soul & my lord and savior knew that I needed her in my life she forgave me, she accepted me, She gave me my 2 beautiful children that I love very much and mean everything to me & because of her I am who I am today. - - Self doubt - My brain is always doubting itself but that's because everything I am doing I am doing for the first time my mind is not used to all this untouched territory so I understand it but I my heart is a moving fast train that does not give a fuck about the mind and will not stop until. I make it out the suburbs.with being so doubtful comes DOING,ACTION & with these two combined overtime results havens choice but show up - - Young money : Having money & freedom at such a young age Then being torn down as a man by my own actions I may ad gave me an advantage to be able to see what my future would look like if I didn't lock tf in, use my money wisely. - - I am currently 8 months 3 weeks and 4 days sober from everything, I owe it all to my lord with the help of my amazing women who has stood by my side allows me to be a man, make my mistakes, Lead which drives me to be the man she so deserves. Being sober allows me to think clear and allows my mind to be free , takes away all drinking activities away. - - When it comes down to it to sting I am bad a weighing my food but that also makes me lock in in, I don't always have the time to do so but it makes me make time I am slowly but surely getting my weight shit together & I watch tons of videos on how to to better myself at it which also opens up more doors on what else to improve.