The Cycle of Life; The Journey to Becoming

Hi everyone! I'm super close to completing my thesis titled, "Exploring individual experiences of spiritual awakening, and their views on psychological therapy", and wanted to share the closing section of my reflective essay with you all. I hope you like it 💜

"As I write this final section, I find myself reflecting not only on the research journey, but on the wider journey that unfolded alongside it. A week prior to the submission of this reflective essay, I experienced two significant life events that brought many of the themes explored throughout this thesis into sharp focus; my sister got married, then two days later, my grandmother passed away.

Within the space of a few days, my family experienced both a beginning and an ending. One moment was filled with celebration, hope, and the joining of two lives; the other was grief, loss, and saying goodbye to someone who had been a constant presence throughout mine. Side by side, we witnessed the continuation of one generation and the departure of another. It felt as though life had condensed one of its greatest lessons into a single week.

As I reflected on these events, I found myself returning to a theme that has appeared repeatedly throughout both this research and my own life: transformation.

My spiritual awakening initially felt like the beginning. There were moments of awe, wonder, liberation, and excitement. It felt as though I had discovered an entirely new way of seeing myself and the world around me. What I did not anticipate was that every beginning would require an ending. Before a new understanding of myself could emerge, an older version was departing. Alongside connection came periods of loneliness. What I initially understood as an awakening eventually revealed itself to be a process of continual becoming.

The same has been true of doctoral training. When I began the doctorate, I imagined qualification as a destination. I believed there would be a moment where I would finally feel certain, knowledgeable, and fully formed as a clinical psychologist. Yet, the further I progressed, the more I realised that growth rarely arrives in this way. Instead, it unfolds through periods of confidence and self-doubt, clarity and confusion, certainty and ambiguity. Just as participants described spiritual awakening as a process rather than a single event, I have come to view professional development in much the same way.

Perhaps this is why this research resonated with me so deeply. Whilst the study sought to understand spiritual awakening and experiences of psychological therapy, the stories shared by participants often spoke to something more. Again and again, I heard participants describe a search for meaning, purpose, connection, and belonging. Many spoke about wanting a space where they could bring their whole selves without fear of judgement. Listening to their stories left a lasting impression on me, not only as a researcher, but as a human being.

As the beginning of the project, I felt pressure for the research to be impactful. I wanted the findings to contribute meaningfully to clinical psychology and to demonstrate the relevance of spirituality within clinical practice. Over time, however, I realised that I was carrying a load that was never mine to hold. The purpose of the research was not to persuade others that spirituality mattered; the purpose was to listen.

Once I returned to this reminder, something shifted. I became less concerned with proving and more concerned with understanding. Less focused on answers and more open to questions. I realised that the value of the study was not solely found within its findings, but within the conversations themselves - the privilege of sitting with people’s stories. The opportunity to create a space where participants felt heard, understood, and free to speak openly about experiences that had often remained hidden.

As I move towards qualification, I find myself thinking less about the type of psychologist I should become, and more about the values I wish to carry forward. This research has reinforced the importance of curiosity, humility, authenticity and compassion. It has challenged assumptions I previously held about neutrality, expertise, and professionalism. Most importantly, it has reminded me that people are often seeking understanding more than explanation.

Throughout the writing of this reflection, one word has repeatedly returned to me: becoming. Initially, I thought it referred to becoming a researcher. Then I thought it referred to becoming a clinical psychologist. As I write these final words, I realise it means something far simpler and far more profound. It speaks to the ongoing process of becoming more fully ourselves.

My sister’s wedding, my grandmother’s death, my spiritual awakening, and this research all seem to tell the same story. Life moves in cycles. There are seasons of growth and seasons of loss. There are moments when joy and grief sit side by side. There are times when certainty falls away and all that remains is to surrender.

Looking back, I realise that this thesis has never really been about spiritual awakening alone. It has been about transformation. About what happens when familiar ways of understanding ourselves begins to shift. About learning to tolerate ambiguity, remain curious, and trust that meaning emerges through experience rather than certainty.

The thesis may be ending, but the journey that inspired it continues, and perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all…

That research, spirituality, psychology, and life are not journey towards completion, but invitations to becoming."

Much love to you all 💜

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The Cycle of Life; The Journey to Becoming