I've decided to create a course to dive a bit deeper into the information in my book (links at https://www.zenmindmichelle.com/healingavoidance) If you're interested in taking the course, please let me know! I'll be recording classes soon and I'd love some real students to be present - free <3 Thanks for being here - please invite anyone else you think would benefit from support in no longer being avoidant! Don't forget to check out the "Classroom" for lots of free resources - and you'll get a free copy of the book companion with mindfulness and somatic exercises as well as journal prompts when you post/react and comment in the skool community. I'm also considering adding some events like online somatic and mindfulness practices or even some zoom meetings to share with each other - what would help support you on your journey!

As I've been doing work on myself (and working with others) I've noticed avoidance isn’t just about avoiding other people. It’s also about avoiding parts of ourselves. Avoiding the feeling that comes up when we slow down. Avoiding the grief we never had space to feel. Avoiding the anger that feels unsafe to express. Avoiding our own needs because needing once felt like a liability. For many of us with avoidant or fearful-avoidant attachment, pulling away didn’t start as a flaw—it started as protection. If no one helped you regulate big emotions… If closeness came with criticism, unpredictability, or loss… Your nervous system learned: distance equals safety. So we stay busy. We intellectualize. We distract. We disconnect—not just from others, but from ourselves. Healing isn’t about forcing vulnerability or pushing yourself into connection before you’re ready. It’s about gently turning toward what you’ve been avoiding inside—with curiosity instead of judgment. Because the goal isn’t to stop being avoidant. The goal is to feel safe enough not to disappear from yourself. You’re not broken. Your system adapted. And it can learn a new way—at your pace. Have you noticed any self avoidance?