Something terrible happened today and Iโm trying to not spiral ๐
I was terminated from a job today over an I-9 documentation issue. There were things I should have handled sooner. There were steps I didnโt follow through on correctly. That part is on me. Whatโs sitting with me is how familiar this pattern is. Not because I donโt care. I care deeply. But because attention and executive functioning challenges keep showing up in structured work environments in ways that cost me, even when Iโm trying and even when the work matters to me. Iโm not sharing this to excuse it. Iโm sharing it because pretending itโs just a one-off mistake hasnโt helped me learn from it. Fast-paced systems, admin-heavy tasks, tight compliance rules, and little margin for error are hard for me to sustain long term, especially when Iโm managing medication changes and mood instability. Thatโs uncomfortable to say out loud. Thereโs a lot of shame in realizing that wanting to work full time, or wanting to โbe more together,โ doesnโt automatically make it accessible. Thereโs grief in accepting that capacity has limits that motivation alone canโt fix. Today feels like a forced pause. Not a clean one. A clarifying one. Iโm trying to hold responsibility without turning it into self-punishment. I can see where I dropped the ball, and I can also see that continuing to ignore how my brain actually works has not served me. Right now Iโm focused on next steps. Exploring part-time options. Looking into disability. Rebuilding income in ways that are more sustainable. Iโm sharing this here because a lot of us run communities, build systems, and support others while quietly struggling behind the scenes. We talk about alignment, sustainability, and values, but itโs harder to admit when our own structures are breaking us. This is me learning in real time. If youโre a community builder or operator whoโs been forced to rethink how you work because of burnout, disability, or capacity limits, youโre not alone. If it feels okay to share, whatโs something your work has recently asked you to look at more honestly?