Do you rest like a German or like a migrant woman?
“When was the last time you had a proper holiday?” my business coach asked me recently. I couldn’t answer her, because I knew that for her (born and raised in Germany) and for me, the meaning of “holiday” is completely different. You see, I was born in the Soviet Union and grew up in freshly capitalist Estonia. Holidays, for us, meant doing other kinds of work: catching up on housework, repairing things, visiting relatives (which often meant working even harder). Working was a status symbol. Resting felt like laziness. Even though I came from a family that wasn’t poor, maybe even slightly above average, going on a holiday trip was simply too expensive. In Germany, taking a week or two off and spending thousands of euros abroad is the norm. My daughter said me recently that her childhood trauma is not going to Mallorca every school holiday like her classmates did. And I thought to myself, if that’s her biggest trauma, then I’m proud of myself as a mother. So when my German coach asked about my holidays, I had to admit: I haven’t really taken one in the last 10 years. She lifted her elbows, smiled gently, and said: “Would you consider doing it soon? It’s important, for your mental health and your professional well-being.” A few years ago, I would’ve laughed. But this time, I told her, I’ll consider it. I still can’t quite imagine spending money on lying on a beach doing nothing, but I’ve started blocking time in my calendar when I don’t work, and don’t even think about work. I take Musti for long walks. I meet my German friend for coffee and talk about life (not business). I call my heritage family just to catch up, not to report. And it feels good. Every time I step out of the “work field,” I return with clearer ideas and a fresh outlook. Maybe that’s what Germans have known all along, that rest is not a reward, but part of the work itself. On the picture: Me, not thinking about work, and celebrating the rare moment when my teenage daughter actually agreed to take a selfie with me.