Do you rest like a German or like a migrant woman?
âWhen was the last time you had a proper holiday?â my business coach asked me recently. I couldnât answer her, because I knew that for her (born and raised in Germany) and for me, the meaning of âholidayâ is completely different. You see, I was born in the Soviet Union and grew up in freshly capitalist Estonia. Holidays, for us, meant doing other kinds of work: catching up on housework, repairing things, visiting relatives (which often meant working even harder). Working was a status symbol. Resting felt like laziness. Even though I came from a family that wasnât poor, maybe even slightly above average, going on a holiday trip was simply too expensive. In Germany, taking a week or two off and spending thousands of euros abroad is the norm. My daughter said me recently that her childhood trauma is not going to Mallorca every school holiday like her classmates did. And I thought to myself, if thatâs her biggest trauma, then Iâm proud of myself as a mother. So when my German coach asked about my holidays, I had to admit: I havenât really taken one in the last 10 years. She lifted her elbows, smiled gently, and said: âWould you consider doing it soon? Itâs important, for your mental health and your professional well-being.â A few years ago, I wouldâve laughed. But this time, I told her, Iâll consider it. I still canât quite imagine spending money on lying on a beach doing nothing, but Iâve started blocking time in my calendar when I donât work, and donât even think about work. I take Musti for long walks. I meet my German friend for coffee and talk about life (not business). I call my heritage family just to catch up, not to report. And it feels good. Every time I step out of the âwork field,â I return with clearer ideas and a fresh outlook. Maybe thatâs what Germans have known all along, that rest is not a reward, but part of the work itself. On the picture: Me, not thinking about work, and celebrating the rare moment when my teenage daughter actually agreed to take a selfie with me.