7d (edited) • Influence Riddles
[SOLVED ]A tricky persuasion problem
I'm sending this riddle to my list later today.
But I thought it would be interesting to people in this group, too. So here it is:
I'm in the living room, typing this on my laptop, while my mom plays with my 22-month-old daughter.
Baby Shark is blasting in the background. (*Doo doo doo doo doo doo* stabbing my brain.)
Meanwhile, I'm thinking about a mystery our nanny may have solved yesterday.
For a while now, my oldest daughter, Olivia, has refused to get into her little bathtub. And we couldn't figure out why.
Until yesterday, when our nanny came up with a theory.
See, we also use that bathtub for Sophia, our 1-month-old daughter.
Our nanny thinks Olivia may refuse to get into the tub because she associates it with babies.
Maybe Olivia thinks that if she gets into the same bathtub as her little sister, that makes her a baby too. But Olivia doesn't see herself as a baby anymore. And she doesn't want to do things that babies do.
So it might be a matter of identity.
Now, as you probably know, identity plays a HUGE role in marketing and copywriting.
We all have certain beliefs about who we are. Some are positive, some are negative.
But here's what's interesting.
Even when we hold a negative belief about ourselves, we don't like it when someone else says it out loud.
For example, you might tell yourself you're a loser.
Yet if I call you a loser, you'll get defensive. You'll close up like a clam and resist anything I say next.
And that's a big problem.
Because sometimes, to persuade someone, you need to address a negative belief they hold about themselves.
But if you confront that belief directly, you risk putting them on the defensive.
So here's the quiz:
How do you address a negative belief someone has about themselves without putting them on the defensive?
Hit reply and let me know how you'd do it.
---
SOLUTION:
Here's my answer.
I try to follow this rule of thumb:
Never ask prospects to agree with something negative about themselves in order to agree with your sales argument.
What you should do instead is use this 3-step process.
Step 1: Get prospects to recognize their problem without making them defensive.
Step 2: Offer an explanation for their problem that doesn't require accepting a negative identity.
For example, maybe they're struggling because of their circumstances, habits, or something they haven't learned yet.
Step 3: Show them a new way to solve their problem.
Now, here are 11 ways to accomplish Step 1, which is the trickiest step.
1. Admit the negative identity yourself.
"I used to be the laziest person I knew. I'd buy a gym membership every January and quit by February."
2. Talk about another person who has the negative identity.
"My friend John used to call himself the world's laziest man. He wanted to get fit, but he could never get himself off the couch."
3. Talk about behavior instead of identity.
"Maybe you keep telling yourself you'll start working out on Monday."
4. Collective confession.
"Most of us have bought a gym membership with the best intentions... only to stop going a few weeks later."
5. Talk about symptoms.
"Have you been gaining weight lately?"
6. Talk about signs.
"Has your workout log been empty for months?"
7. Describe a specific situation.
"Ever promised yourself you'd work out after work, only to get home and collapse on the couch?"
8. Talk about symbols that remind prospects of their problems.
"Do you even remember where you left your gym membership card?"
9. Describe their current state or circumstances.
"Haven't exercised since your kids were born?"
10. Talk about the side effects of failed solutions.
"You signed up for an intense fitness program. But you were so sore after the first workout that you couldn't go back for days."
11. Challenge the negative identity itself.
"Skipping the gym doesn't mean you're lazy."
All the above get prospects to recognize their problems. But they don't force the prospects to accept a negative identity.
Of course, these techniques aren't foolproof. The way you phrase things still matters.
For example, you can use way #3 - talking about behavior – and still offend someone.
"You tell yourself you'll start working out," sounds more accusatory than "maybe you keep telling yourself."
But all these ways can help start a sensitive conversation without making prospects feel attacked.
Once you start the conversation, move on to the next steps.
Offer a plausible explanation for the problem that doesn't blame the prospect.
Then introduce your new solution.
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[SOLVED ]A tricky persuasion problem
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