Purpose: A firm, neutral message for redirecting emotional, chaotic, or accusatory communication into structure and documentation — without feeding the drama. Option 1 — Redirect to the App (Strong & Neutral) “Hi, for clarity and consistency, I’m only responding to child-related communication that is calm, respectful, and on topic. If you need to discuss something, please send it through OFW in a concise, factual format so I can respond appropriately. I won’t engage in emotional conversations outside that structure.” Option 2 — When They Send a Chaotic Paragraph “I’m not able to respond meaningfully to messages written in this tone. If there’s a specific child-related issue that needs attention, please restate it calmly on OFW and I will respond.” Option 3 — When They Try to Pull You Into an Argument “I’m not available for argument or back-and-forth. If there’s a parenting decision to discuss, please present the information and the specific question on OFW.” Option 4 — When They Accuse, Blame, or Twist “I don’t engage with accusatory messages. If there’s a child-focused concern you’d like to address, please outline the facts and the request clearly in OFW. I’ll respond once the communication is appropriate.” Option 5 — When They Try to Control Your Time or Pressure You “I won’t respond to pressured or time-sensitive messages outside our agreed communication channels. Please send any necessary details through OFW so everything stays documented and clear.” Why this “Text My Ex” works: - It’s calm. - It’s unreactive. - It avoids JADEing (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain). - It documents your reasonable behavior. - It forces them into structure or exposes their refusal to communicate appropriately. - It reinforces the boundary without escalation.

Boundary Focus: I don’t accept blame for things outside of my control. When co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, it’s common to be blamed for things you didn’t cause. Trauma can make this feel automatic, but it isn’t your truth. Using trauma-informed communication helps you protect your energy, model regulation, and stay child-focused. Here are 6 different approaches you can use depending on the situation: 1️⃣ Calm + Neutral Use this when you want to respond but keep the tone neutral. “I understand your concern. I want to focus on what I can responsibly address regarding our child. I’m not accepting blame for things outside of my control.” 2️⃣ Firm + Protective Use this when you need to set a clear line. “I’m only responding to matters that are within my responsibility. I will not engage in conversations assigning me blame for things I cannot control.” 3️⃣ Gentle + Disengaging Use this when you want to acknowledge the message but not escalate. “I hear your message, but I am not responsible for this situation. Please let’s keep our focus on [child’s name] and what we can do together for them.” 4️⃣ Redirect to Child-Focused Use this when they try to make it personal rather than parenting-focused. “I’m happy to discuss [child’s name]’s schedule or needs, but I won’t engage in conversations blaming me for adult matters.” 5️⃣ Pause + Self-Regulation Use this when you need to take time before responding. “I need to pause and review this before responding. I’ll get back to you about matters I can responsibly address.” 6️⃣ Court-Safe / Fact-Based Use this when you want to maintain a record or anticipate escalation. “For clarity: I am only responsible for decisions and actions within my parenting time and court orders. I will not engage in discussions assigning me blame for events outside my control.” 💡 Tip: When crafting your text: 1. Pause and notice your feelings. 2. Stay neutral or factual. 3. Keep the focus on what’s yours to address (usually child-related). 4. Avoid JADEing (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) — it fuels conflict.

Hey Everyone! I have compiled a list of 6 scenarios/topics with varying hostility levels that can be used at the drop of a hat to diffuse a hostile situation with your ex partner, and put an end to the conversation if needed. Please download this PDF as it is FREE for everyone!

Responding to Manipulation & Hostility 1. Mild Manipulation / Passive Guilt-Tripping Example: “I guess you just don’t care about what I want.”Responses: - Neutral/Factual: “I’m focused on what works best for [child/our schedule].” - Boundary-Focused: “I’m not discussing feelings that aren’t productive. Let’s stick to the plan.” - Minimal Engagement: “Noted.” 2. Moderate Hostility / Direct Guilt or Blame Example: “You’re making everything harder for me on purpose.”Responses: - Calm & Firm: “I’m not making things harder. Let’s focus on solutions instead of blame.” - Redirecting: “I hear you. Let’s stick to facts and schedules.” - Detachment: “I’m not going to engage in this argument.” 3. Gaslighting / Reality Distortion Example: “You’re remembering it wrong; that never happened.”Responses: - Firm Memory Acknowledgment: “I remember things differently. Let’s move forward based on facts now.” - Neutral Detachment: “I don’t think we’ll agree on that. Let’s focus on what’s next.” - Minimalist: “Understood.” 4. High Hostility / Aggressive or Threatening Example: “You’re impossible! You never…” or any aggressive toneResponses: - Safety First: Only respond if necessary; otherwise pause or block. - Minimal Engagement: “I will respond when we can have a productive conversation.” - Third-Party / Documentation: “I’ve noted this. We’ll review it as needed.” Key Strategies Across All Levels 1. Short & Factual: Avoid long emotional responses. 2. Stick to Boundaries: Focus on logistics, schedules, or facts. 3. Pause When Needed: Don’t engage when hostility is high. 4. Protect Your Energy: Use muting, delayed responses, or blocks if repeated manipulation occurs.

Text My Ex: "I say no without justification." You don’t owe a paragraph, a backstory, or a courtroom defense for your no. If it doesn’t work for you, the answer is simply: “No, that doesn’t work for me.” Here are some different variations and tones to utilize based on the scenario you might be in: 👇 🔥 Direct & Firm Option 1: “No, that doesn’t work for me.” Option 2: “I’m saying no. I’m not open to discussing it further.” Option 3: “That’s a no from me.” Option 4: “I won’t be doing that.” 🌿 Calm & Neutral (Healthy / Co-parenting Safe) Option 6: “No, that won’t work for me. Thanks for understanding.” Option 7: “I’m unable to agree to that.” Option 8: “That doesn’t work for my schedule.” Option 9: “I’m not available for that.” Option 10: “I’m going to pass on this.” 🧊 Polite but Unmovable Option 11: “No, I’m not comfortable with that.” Option 12: “I won’t be agreeing to this.” Option 13: “That’s not something I’m willing to do.” Option 14: “I’m declining.” Option 15: “I’m not saying yes.” 🚫 Boundary + Close the Door Option 16: “No. Please respect my decision.” Option 17: “I’ve already given my answer.” Option 18: “This isn’t up for discussion.” Option 19: “I’m not revisiting this conversation.” Option 20: “The decision is final.” 🧠 Emotionally Mature / Regulated Option 21: “I’m choosing not to do that.” Option 22: “This doesn’t align with what I’m available for.” Option 23: “I’m not open to this.” Option 24: “I’m opting out.” Option 25: “That’s not a yes for me.” 🥀 Trauma-Informed / Gentle Option 26: “I’m not able to offer that.” Option 27: “I’m taking care of myself by saying no.” Option 28: “I’m not in a place to do that.” Option 29: “I need to decline.” Option 30: “That’s more than I can do.”