It’s not “attention-seeking,” it’s connection-needing. Busywork won’t fix dysregulation—co-regulation will. These behaviors are classic signs of a nervous system on alert. When the body’s “alarm” is on, the thinking brain goes dim. Adding more activities or faster pacing usually adds load, not relief.
What’s really going on:
- Whining = “I’m overloaded.” This is the sound of overload—I need help to settle myself.
- Clinginess = “Stay close.” I’m seeking proximity; your grounded presence helps my brain feel more organized.
- Endless questions = “Am I safe?” I’m checking for reassurance, not trying to stall.
Why “keep them busy” backfires:
More tasks = more input and more decisions. Dysregulated brains need fewer variables, predictable presence, and clear signals of safety before they can re-engage.
I’m Brenda, a pediatric OT and feeding specialist. Alongside Katherine, a parenting and educational consultant, I co-created The Ultimate Preschool Playbook—a relationship-centered training for preschool teachers that turns brain-based principles into simple, play-first routines for today’s classrooms.
If you’re a preschool director (or you know one), we share regulation-first frameworks, coaching language, and team-friendly routines inside the Preschool Director Network (free on Skool). Please share our new free group with preschool directors so they can browse, borrow, and share with their teams.