Advice on courtship · Based & Built (Free)

Aug 19 • General

Advice on courtship

Hi gents, apologies if this is not appropriate to post a question so soon after joining. But I'm seeking advice.

I broke up with my first ever girlfriend 2 months ago but still feel called to marriage and fatherhood. Before dating her I was considering religious life, so didn't really 'set out to date'.

I'm now navigating actively seeking a relationship for the first time in my life and unsure what I should do.

There is a lovely Catholic young lady who I really like - who unfortunately lives a long way away (~20 hours flight) - with whom I am good friends but I'm not sure she views me as an option due to the distance. I'm hoping to visit her this Christmas, but in the mean time I'm just keeping up messaging and also writing her letters (without being overtly romantic in tone, as I want to have that discussion in person). Tbh, there's been mixed signals about whether she is interested in me - we met in a country that was neither of our homelands, I asked her on a date which she accepted but then cancelled because we were returning home that week and so she thought it was best to stay friends. Since then however, she's messaged me saying she misses me, and that her mother wants to meet me, and encouraged me to visit her. There's no level of exclusivity between us (I know she's talking to another guy), this is relevant because of the below.

I've heard a (female) Catholic dating influencer say that when single you should just go on lots of first dates, meet different people and see if someone clicks. I'm wondering if you think this is good advice, and whether I should be trying to go on other dates before Christmas when I have an opportunity to visit her.

For example: There's another girl who I'm somewhat interested in, who I think is interested in me, but I'm not sure of her religious beliefs. Do I just ask her on a date to see how we go?

And similarly, do I try to go on dates with other Catholic girls in my broader network?

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