Celebrating and Spiraling at the Same Time. Fun!
Hey NEU fam, @Thor Aarsand said posting on social media is shadow work on steroids and heās not lying. Here are the shadows Iām noticing right now. I want to put them out here partly for support and partly just to shine awareness on them. Itās funny because this is literally the work I'm teaching on. I had a reel hit over 50K views and it hasnāt even been 48 hours. Like⦠yay! Iām excited and Iām celebrating. But that doesnāt mean my shadows arenāt coming out like crazy. Iāve gotten a few negative comments, but honestly I donāt give much of a shit about those, which is surprising because I thought that would be the thing that rattled me. Whatās actually coming up is my people-pleaser identity and that old overgiver pattern Iāve been working on for years. I suddenly have a ton of comments and DMs asking āHow do I change my identity? Give me the practices.ā And itās like⦠one, this is way more than a 90-second video, and two, this is literally the course Iām planning to build on shadow work and self-mastery. But I catch myself spending way too much time trying to write long, extensive answers. I even recorded a bonus practical video to release tomorrow, even though I have a whole 10-part series and part 9 and 10 already cover basic steps for identity work. And then the doubt hit. Is this just jargon? Am I even helping anyone? Why am I suddenly questioning myself and my ideas? Itās like I only feel āsafeā if a reel gets a couple thousand views. With 50K, my nervous system is like āoh shit.ā Suddenly I donāt want to let anyone down. Suddenly I donāt want to be seen as someone who doesnāt know what sheās talking about. And I can see myself starting to sabotage. Since shadow work is my jam, Iāve literally been doing the same practices I teach in my videos today, which is hilarious and humbling. I just didnāt expect this reaction in myself, and having this many views is exciting but honestly also scaring the shit out of me. I guess Iām just looking for some support⦠like, this is why youāre doing it, keep going, youāre on the right track. Which I fully plan on doing.Just⦠yeah. Thatās where Iām at.