Celebrating and Spiraling at the Same Time. Fun!

Dec '25 • Support

Hey NEU fam,

said posting on social media is shadow work on steroids and he’s not lying. Here are the shadows I’m noticing right now. I want to put them out here partly for support and partly just to shine awareness on them. It’s funny because this is literally the work I'm teaching on.

I had a reel hit over 50K views and it hasn’t even been 48 hours. Like… yay! I’m excited and I’m celebrating. But that doesn’t mean my shadows aren’t coming out like crazy. I’ve gotten a few negative comments, but honestly I don’t give much of a shit about those, which is surprising because I thought that would be the thing that rattled me.

What’s actually coming up is my people-pleaser identity and that old overgiver pattern I’ve been working on for years. I suddenly have a ton of comments and DMs asking “How do I change my identity? Give me the practices.” And it’s like… one, this is way more than a 90-second video, and two, this is literally the course I’m planning to build on shadow work and self-mastery.

But I catch myself spending way too much time trying to write long, extensive answers. I even recorded a bonus practical video to release tomorrow, even though I have a whole 10-part series and part 9 and 10 already cover basic steps for identity work.

And then the doubt hit. Is this just jargon? Am I even helping anyone? Why am I suddenly questioning myself and my ideas? It’s like I only feel “safe” if a reel gets a couple thousand views. With 50K, my nervous system is like “oh shit.” Suddenly I don’t want to let anyone down. Suddenly I don’t want to be seen as someone who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And I can see myself starting to sabotage.

Since shadow work is my jam, I’ve literally been doing the same practices I teach in my videos today, which is hilarious and humbling. I just didn’t expect this reaction in myself, and having this many views is exciting but honestly also scaring the shit out of me.

I guess I’m just looking for some support… like, this is why you’re doing it, keep going, you’re on the right track. Which I fully plan on doing.Just… yeah. That’s where I’m at.

And here's the link for anyone that wants to see the video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DR2Ko-sAJXb/?igsh=MXdhcG1jbGI4MWpraw==

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