Just realised the inner voice calling me "lazy" and "inconsistent" isn't even mine - it's something I inherited and spent my life proving right. Meanwhile I raised my kids alone for 20 years and never once gave up on myself. Turns out I've been consistent at the thing that matters most.

This is my second time doing the challenge and I figured it would be a refresher and a motivator to kick me back into gear, what I got was way more than I thought. I’ve just received my final report and the depth of insight has floored me once again…from affirmation and emotion to reality check and a kick up the rear. The thing I do so well as a coach is listen to people and give their own words back to them using visual analogies. Well this time I had the same experience given to me and it made me tear up as I stepped back into my own story… “Before anyone told you to sit still or speak faster, there was a girl who collected rocks and shells that sparkled or had something unique about them. Who chatted for hours with her nan next door. Who cared for stray animals her dad rescued from the railway, dressing dolls and dogs, caring for birds and even a lamb. Who sang as she walked, picking flowers along the way. Now look at your work today. You help women "find their own worth, to discover their truth... each person is so valuable just by being who they are." You see what sparkles in others. You collect their unique contribution. You sing their value back to them. The child wasn't replaced. She was repurposed. Every gift you had at six is the gift you offer at every coaching session now.” And then the reality check… “Your office is half-reorganised because YOU are half-reorganised, mid-shift between the woman you've been and the woman you're becoming. The good news is that you don't have to fix the office first. Fix the inner permission and the office will follow.” And the kick up the rear… “The path forward isn't more discipline. It's more permission. Permission to be the woman who stops protecting eight-year-old Judy and starts choosing for the woman she actually is now. A mirror doesn't change anything by itself. You have to decide what to do with what you see.” There’s so much more to process, this is the next layer of my personal journey. Thanks @Jim Ebbelaar for so generously providing such a valuable opportunity and resource ❤️

Just a reminder for anyone who needs it today… You don’t have to fix your whole life today. Just do ONE small thing. *Drink some water. *Reply to one message. *Put away 3 things. That counts. It all counts. If you’re up for it, drop your “one small thing” below and let’s cheer each other on!!!!

I’m starting with a new psychiatrist in 2 weeks. I’m taking this final report with me and using it to generate some questions I want to be sure to ask. These 5 days have been more useful than years of therapy. ——- From the final report —- Just completed the ADHD Awakening Assessment and here's what stopped me cold: as a kid, I used to sit at my architect grandpa's drawing table and create hand-drawn mazes for hours. Decades later, I have a doctorate in educational technology and I design curricula for a living. The maze-maker never left. She just grew up and started building paths for everyone except herself. That's about to change.

Just finished the first section of my ADHD Snapshot and realized something wild: the compassion I give my inner child ("perfectly imperfect, brave, loved") is the exact compassion I refuse to give myself today. Also learned that the "defeat" I feel when I can't make myself do the thing isn't irresponsibility. It has a name.