I think the part of my old identity I still protect is the version of me that learned to survive by staying guarded, proving myself, and expecting struggle. That version helped me make it through certain seasons of life, so part of me still holds onto it out of habit. I’m realizing survival mode can become a prison when it’s no longer needed. If I fully let it go, I believe I become someone more peaceful, disciplined, confident, and free, someone who doesn’t move from pain or fear, but from purpose. Someone who no longer asks life to prove itself hard, but gives myself permission to experience it differently.

One thing I've wanted to do but have been putting off is meditating. I know it would help me ground myself. At times life does get heavy for me and I need to slow down and make time to release that energy and cleanse my mind.

I’m working on not letting my heart hold negativity toward people or situations I don’t agree with. I’m learning that everyone has their own path to walk, their own mistakes to make, and their own lessons to face. I’ve caught myself feeling satisfied when karma catches up to someone, and I’m realizing that mindset isn’t who I want to be. Truth is, people are shaped by what they’ve been through, and somewhere along the way, they were failed too. They deserve the same grace and forgiveness that I hope others would give me. I’ve also noticed I feel lighter when I shift my thinking to, “what led them to this, and how can I, or someone close to them, help?” It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it keeps in the mindset of compassion instead of judgment.

I'm releasing the old version of myself. I've held on to her because she is what was familiar and what felt safe but she can't go when my future is taking me.

I am gently forgiving my past self for knowingly making mistakes and not truly addressing the issues at hand at those times.