"If he loved me, he would know why I'm mad." "If she cared, she would see that I'm drowning." False. Your spouse is not a psychic. They are just a person. Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments. The Fix: Use your words. "I am feeling overwhelmed and I need help with the dishes" is infinitely better than huffing around the kitchen hoping they notice. Clarity is kindness.

Did you know that a high heart rate, particularly if it is caused by stress, can significantly impair your ability to process information and listen effectively? If you are in "fight or flight" mode, your frontal lobe (the logic part) shuts down. Continuing to argue in this state is useless. You are just throwing grenades. The Tool: Call a Time Out. "I am flooded. I need 20 minutes to calm down. I will be back." (Crucial: You must promise to come back, or it may feel like abandonment).

Dr. John Gottman says the difference between happy and unhappy couples isn't that happy couples don't fight. It's that they repair quickly. A repair attempt is anything that de-escalates the tension. - A joke. - A touch. - "I'm sorry, let me try that again." - "I feel like we are getting off track." Goal: Catch the slide before it becomes a crash. Make a repair attempt today. Bonus: This works well if you have kids too. Repair with them as needed AND repair with your spouse in front of your kids. This models great conflict resolution.

Now that work and school are back in full swing, the stress is back too. Do you bring your work stress home and dump it on your family? Try a Transition Ritual. When you park the car or shut the laptop, take 60 seconds. - Visualize the work stress staying in the car/office. - Take 3 deep breaths. - Set an intention: "I am entering my home as a present spouse/parent." Protect your marriage from the stress of the day.

Let's play a game. What is the BEST way to resolve an argument? (Wrong answers only in the comments! Let's see how terrible your advice is. 😂)