Sometimes family really does mean well, but they can still end up messing things up. It’s frustrating, but it happens to all of us. I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that our partnerships hold strong even when outside stuff gets messy. Keep praying for clarity, not just outcomes. Pray for softened hearts, healthy boundaries, and wisdom to know when to listen and when to lovingly protect what God has entrusted to you. Sometimes God allows disruption not to break us apart, but to strengthen the foundation and remind us where our unity truly comes from. It helps to just take a breath, talk things through when you can, and remember that sometimes the little bumps aren’t meant to break you—they’re just part of figuring things out together. Keeping the connection alive, listening to each other, and looking out for each other really goes a long way.

Fortunately for me, I grew up in a home with open communication and very little yelling. If we needed to be heard or seen, we simply asked our parents for a few moments of their time, and they listened. My husband’s family experience was the complete opposite. Everyone talked over one another, and there was one sibling who was made a top priority by his mom. As a result, my husband learned to do his own thing. When he needed attention, he focused on meeting everyone else’s needs, often neglecting his own. This dynamic came full circle in our marriage. In the early years, when we had disagreements (which are thankfully few nowadays after years of couples therapy), simply saying, “I need a few minutes of your time today—there’s something I’d like to talk about,” would immediately put him on high alert. He would listen, but then go to extremes to make me happy or do whatever was needed just to make the situation go away. Over time, he has learned that he has a voice and that his feelings truly matter. He knows now that I will listen and that we can process his needs alongside mine. It takes a lot of effort to truly listen and hold space for another person’s feelings during an argument, but with practice and patience, it absolutely can be done.

How I like our towels (and even my underwear) folded. We’ve been folding towels together for 25 years, and he still folds them in a way that doesn’t fit in the cabinet. He doesn’t notice that I quietly refold his stack every time. It seems trivial, but little things can build up after a few days. Still, I remind myself there are bigger things to get upset about, so I just refold them and let it go.

Elf or Christmas Vacation

I usually start by admitting how hard it feels. I don’t like disappointing people or feeling like I’m letting anyone down.I feel God reminding me that my peace matters too. I ask for strength to stand firm and for softness to still love well. And when I hand it over to God, I feel that weight lift.