This is a conversation about something sneaky and difficult to pin down. I occasionally catch glimpses of it from the corner of my eye and want to see if I can capture it here. I will have to say it several times because as hard as it is to capture, it's harder to hear. It's very much outside the current frame of reference in which we live. This is for everyone and is essential for anyone who is entertained by the thought that they aren't participating enough. Maybe you haven't been to every call or don't practice reliably enough (based on something you made up). You need to deal with this fact: you signed up for Living a Grateful Life in a Fcked Up World because of something you thought was important. That would make a difference for you. You wanted to practice, show up, be more present, grateful, and awake. And maybe—like so many of us in so many areas and so many ways—you haven’t participated as fully as you wanted. Maybe you’ve missed a session, meant to do the practices but didn’t, told yourself I should sit and practice, and then... didn’t. And now? Maybe there’s a little voice saying you’ve fallen behind or that you’ve somehow failed at gratitude or you've been doing it wrong (again), or, or, or... We all have our own personal hater chorus ready to let us know we are not getting it done—nobody escapes this life without these inner critics making themselves known. But let me tell you something: you’re doing it right. And I don't mean this in some rah-rah- you-can-do-it-keep-going-you-go-girl-bullshit way. The fact that you even noticed that you wanted to practice is a win. It's THE win. The fact that you signed up at all is THE win. The fact that you’re reading this right now, thinking about gratitude, about waking up to your life, is the whole damn point. Literally, that's the point. Rather than beating yourself up over the "failure" to do it "right," why aren't you celebrating the moment of awareness, the actual fucking goddamn moment of enlightenment that came upon you when you had the thought, "I should practice today"?

I've posted week five for your review along with the Insight Timer link. Also: I often say that the best part of hanging out with me is eventually you might get to hang out with my wife and here's your chance. Some of the people here have worked with her and I know they would agree... She is hosting a free EFT Tapping Session for Valentine's Day - it's called Love the One You're With and should be remarkable. If you're unfamiliar with EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) you should be. It's a fantastic tool to deal with and release emotional baggage stuck in the body. It aligns very much with the work we've been doing (she and I are talking about creating a retreat together at some point because the two practices are so well-matched). This is what she says about tomorrow's class: What would happen, if this month we all focused on keeping our hearts just a little more open? Why not?! It's February, and any excuse is a good excuse to bring attention to coming into our hearts and radiating more love and healing to ourselves, each other, and the planet. The world needs more of this! It can be so easy to shut down and close our hearts when we feel scared, threatened, unseen, or not enough... And the list goes on. There are a lot of reasons to protect our hearts in the world. We contribute to a collective heart energy that benefits society by radiating love and compassion. Even if it is only 2% more open and available, that is enough. This small opening makes a difference. Start close in. Start with yourself and watch it ripple out in your relationships and the planet. Join us this Thursday, Feb 13, from 9 to 10 a.m. PST for a free EFT Tapping class to open our hearts to give and receive more love, joy, compassion, and healing. You can register here, and I highly recommend you check it out. You have nothing but your baggage to lose 😁. Check it out: Meeting Registration - Zoom

For more 2 years I have been traveling to Singapore to the same client office. I walk the same path, go to the same coffee place, work long days, eat at the same restaurants…. all because it is my habit and what they do. Yesterday for first time, I interrupted my routine to stop, slow down and open my eyes versus my habitual pattern rushing from one thing to the next… I discovered there was a garden path filled with flowers, which led to new places to eat, new shops to explore —-apparently all I had to do was turn left instead of right!!! Being kind to myself including not judging myself for forgetting to practice last week, lead me to a whole world of beauty just waiting to be discovered 💗❤️🧚‍♂️🦋🐞🌺🌺🌼

Hey Meditation Mates, I was with my 87 year old dad today, and at the end of our visit, his speech slurred. I believe I was present to my dad having a mini stroke. He is fine and I am fine. He lives in an assisted living community, so I called the nurse immediately. All the checks happened, and his speech was normal again. It’s taken me about an hour to come down from the adrenaline and be with what happened. A lot of child-type fear of my dad dying of course, but then I remembered: yes, and what is happening now? Like right now? And I was like phewwww right - all of that happened, and yeah process it, and what’s so is that RIGHT NOW, my dad is here on this earth and we spent the day together in love and joy. So much love, and so much joy. And I even thought - how lucky am I? How lucky am I that I got to experience something so profoundly intimate with someone I love so insatiably? I like to say: it’s not always beautiful, and it’s always perfect. It is beautiful though. Exceptionally beautiful. When the nurse was gone, I was just kinda like, welp, this is something we are up to now. This is it. And it’s perfect. Now i think I’ll go cry and offer myself some of that Loving Kindness. 💜

So for me, it's been a relatively easy first two weeks until today. What I'm dealing with has been in the background all along and for a long time before our program started. My wife and I are at a crossroads. We are growing in different directions. We almost got divorced about 8 years ago and we are now both questioning the wisdom of not following through on that path. So we are at the same point again. She came up during our meditation (which makes perfect sense) and I'm looking to figure it all out. What does it look like if we: stay together, get divorced, one of us wants to move somewhere else and one doesn't, how do I navigate this while staying mindful...? So many f*cking questions and not a lot of answers. After our call she wanted to know how it was and I'm just not ready to share it yet. I am still trying to be with it myself. All of a sudden Namaste Mother F*ckers, just got a lot more mindful and meaningful.