Feb 10 • Reflections and Sharing
Think You're Not Doing it Right? READ THIS!
This is a conversation about something sneaky and difficult to pin down. I occasionally catch glimpses of it from the corner of my eye and want to see if I can capture it here.
I will have to say it several times because as hard as it is to capture, it's harder to hear. It's very much outside the current frame of reference in which we live.
This is for everyone and is essential for anyone who is entertained by the thought that they aren't participating enough. Maybe you haven't been to every call or don't practice reliably enough (based on something you made up).
You need to deal with this fact: you signed up for Living a Grateful Life in a Fcked Up World because of something you thought was important. That would make a difference for you.
You wanted to practice, show up, be more present, grateful, and awake. And maybe—like so many of us in so many areas and so many ways—you haven’t participated as fully as you wanted.
Maybe you’ve missed a session, meant to do the practices but didn’t, told yourself I should sit and practice, and then... didn’t.
And now? Maybe there’s a little voice saying you’ve fallen behind or that you’ve somehow failed at gratitude or you've been doing it wrong (again), or, or, or...
We all have our own personal hater chorus ready to let us know we are not getting it done—nobody escapes this life without these inner critics making themselves known.
But let me tell you something: you’re doing it right.
And I don't mean this in some rah-rah- you-can-do-it-keep-going-you-go-girl-bullshit way.
The fact that you even noticed that you wanted to practice is a win. It's THE win. The fact that you signed up at all is THE win. The fact that you’re reading this right now, thinking about gratitude, about waking up to your life, is the whole damn point.
Literally, that's the point.
Rather than beating yourself up over the "failure" to do it "right," why aren't you celebrating the moment of awareness, the actual fucking goddamn moment of enlightenment that came upon you when you had the thought, "I should practice today"?
That's a win! You were present - you woke up to the idea of practice. Celebrate that shit, homie!
The truth is, the moment you notice—“I should sit and practice”—that’s already a win. That’s already the practice. But instead of acknowledging that moment of clarity, we focus only on whether or not we followed through, and if we didn’t, we chalk it up as a loss.
And worse, we punish ourselves for it. It’s like training a dog by only scolding it and never giving treats. How is that supposed to work?
Remember, kindness is the key to this whole thing (and by "whole thing," I mean the whole thing of our existence as human beings).
There’s a key reframe here: the point of practice is not to build a streak or check a box. We are not hère to become good meditators.
The point is to wake up, moment by moment, to the deeper rhythms of your life. And when you hear that whisper—“Sit now, practice now”—that’s already presence doing its work. That’s already progress.
What if, instead of beating yourself up for not sitting, you paused and said: "Damn. Look at me. I just caught myself in real time. I just heard my inner wisdom. WOO HOO!."
That subtle shift—celebrating the noticing—keeps you engaged with the process instead of shutting yourself down with guilt.
Because guilt is sneaky, too, it masquerades as discipline, but it’s just resistance in a different outfit. Resistance wants you to see your practice as a source of shame because shame makes you avoidant. And avoidance keeps you stuck in a loop.
But celebration? Recognition? That creates momentum. You start reinforcing the habit before you even sit down because you acknowledge the awareness as part of the work.
So yeah—celebrate every win. Even the microscopic ones. Because if you don’t, you’re only strengthening the idea that you’re failing at something that’s working.
The game isn’t about perfection. It’s about waking up over and over again. And every time you remember—Oh, I meant to practice—that’s a moment of awakening. That’s you catching yourself in real-time, tuning back in. That’s enough. Dayenu, as my people say.
So if you’ve been beating yourself up for not doing enough, for missing a practice, for forgetting to be grateful—let it go. Instead, try this:
- Celebrate the noticing. The fact that you even had the thought to practice means you’re in the game.
- Be kind to yourself. No one ever shamed themselves into a more awakened life.
- Start again from where you are. No guilt, no catching up—just step back in, right where we are.
This is about building a life where gratitude and presence feel natural, not forced. And that starts with recognizing that even the smallest steps—even just remembering you meant to take a step—are worth celebrating.
So here’s your invitation: jump in. No shame, no judgment. Just a bunch of us, doing our best to wake up, moment by moment.
See you in the next session.
Aaron
TL;DR If you’re feeling behind, you’re not. There’s no behind. There’s just now. And now is always a good time to begin.
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Think You're Not Doing it Right? READ THIS!
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The home of Living a Grateful Life in a Fcked Up World mindfulness meditation course. A place where all your resources, videos, links, etc. will live.
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